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1.

A young male who will give up countless hours of his time listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends because they need someone to talk to about their apathetic, Baywatch jock of a boyfriend because no one else will listen or genuinely care. Although always surrounded by beautiful girls the nice guy can’t get a girlfriend or even facilitate the alleviation of certain “drives” because his “ordinary” physical appearance will forever be compared to the Baywatch beach bum’s. The nice guy would never capitalize on a vulnerable girl, objectify or cheat on a girl, he will go out of his way and bend over backwards to help his “friends” and will never ask for anything in return but no matter how intelligent, understanding, humorous, compassionate, trusting or loyal the nice guy is the female cohort will always pass him up and endure any length of abuse, objectification, apathy and cold-heartedness from a man if he has physical attractiveness, fashion, big muscles and chiseled facial features.

The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided. This coupled with years of watching girls go for tanned, muscular jerk-offs with nice cars while he desperately hopes someone will realize that how viable he actually is will spawn and incubate the nice guy’s insecurities and he will eventually abandon his views, dumb-down his speech, take-up weight-lifting and switch majors from cancer research with a minor in theoretical physics to playground management so he can devote his time to emulating Baywatch characters and football players so that he will one day be viewed as more than a “nice guy.”

The nice guy will eventually work up the courage to ask out his attractive female friend but will invariably be turned down because she’s so self-centered that she’d never actually had a smidgeon of compassion for the nice guy’s feelings or even realized that he’s interested in girls. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will downplay the supposed friendship to the point where they never speak again, which in turn will make the nice guy depressed (ironically, he won’t have anyone to talk to) because he’s devoted so much time and energy and has become so warped from being exposed to these kinds of people that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like shit.

The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that people primarily care about physical appearances and that shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty.”
"Jeez Patrick, I hope I can find a nice guy like you someday."

"Well, if you need me I'll be at home, crying myself to sleep while masturbating to the sound of my 70-year-old neighbors having sex...I might also play some ps2."
by desperryado October 03, 2005
 
36.
a young man who is selfless, caring and rejects dominance and machismo
If he were a nice guy maybe she would listen.
by The Return of Light Joker April 22, 2008
 
37.
A nice guy who always gets screwed at the end.
A nice guy whos friend is a girl who you happen to like talks about her problems but still stays with the douche bag shes going out with.
by beechnut July 23, 2006
 
38.
A man who is to afraid to speak his mind. Often times they will complain about how they are mistreated by women and hate the "Alpha's", "Frat Guy" ,"Athletes" and label them as troglodytes. What the nice guys fail to realize, is they are weak at a fundamental level. They only befriend the girls who are attractive because they have hopes that the friendship will result in sex or relationship. They kling on to these attractive woman because they do not have enough confidence in themselves to say they deserve more and better from these relationships. The pandering fool often is depressed because though he feels that he is close to the girl, he understands fundamentally the woman will not grow to like him. This is because girls are attracted to confidence on a very basic level. The obsequious ways of the nice guy are the embodiment of lack of confidence and self loathing. Nice guys do not strive to be jerks but good men. The difference in the two paradigms is this, nice guys do what they do to receive validation and praise, good men do what they want because they want to. Good men are truthful, honest and blunt.
I was a nice guy and hated myself and the world, I became a good man and I love life and the world.
by Thelonious Kwiggz August 11, 2012
 
39.
A term that a mother uses to describe any single man she approves of and fantasizes about her daughter marrying, but for whom the daughter usually claims to have zero interest in *that* way.

A man labelled a "nice guy" is often a superficially respectful and intelligent, but also frustratingly indecisive or cowardly person who won't get the aforementioned girl because he won't initiate or ask.

Sometimes, the girl dislikes him and finds him boring because he always plays his life safe and fails to go out and accomplish anything interesting with it. (This is why the mother likes him.)

Other times, he is a friend of the girl and desires a relationship with someone, but fails to consider the obvious candidate. (This is the most cliched of romantic-comedy cliches).
Mother: "That guy who dropped you off home seemed like a nice guy."

Girl: "Yeah, I guess."
by weird-O April 22, 2012
 
40.
See Virgin
p1: Your a nice guy, ya know!
p2: Fuck You.
by HHHHEEEEHEEEE April 15, 2010
 
41.
something that doesnt exist
nice guy? never gonna happen
by someoneyoureallydontknow September 26, 2010
 
42.
A heterosexual male who has been rejected countless times by the opposite gender for his lame-ass attempts to woo them. A nice guy usually expect complementary sex for something the average person would do.

The "nice guy" will pretend to be "nice" up until his rejection from his target and he will reveal his true nature as a misogynistic, inept piece of shit and referring to himself as being "friend-zoned".
Stay away from these type of people at all costs or just piss at them fucking piss at them.
"Nice Guy": HEY HOT CHICK I OPEN DOOR FOR YOU PLEASE SEX ME
Female: What
"Nice Guy": GIRLS ONLY GO FOR JERKS WHY DOESNT THE NICE GUY EVER GET THE GIRL
by woahmantakeastepback October 06, 2013