Top Definition

A young male who will give up countless hours of his time listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends because they need someone to talk to about their apathetic, Baywatch jock of a boyfriend because no one else will listen or genuinely care. Although always surrounded by beautiful girls the nice guy can’t get a girlfriend or even facilitate the alleviation of certain “drives” because his “ordinary” physical appearance will forever be compared to the Baywatch beach bum’s. The nice guy would never capitalize on a vulnerable girl, objectify or cheat on a girl, he will go out of his way and bend over backwards to help his “friends” and will never ask for anything in return but no matter how intelligent, understanding, humorous, compassionate, trusting or loyal the nice guy is the female cohort will always pass him up and endure any length of abuse, objectification, apathy and cold-heartedness from a man if he has physical attractiveness, fashion, big muscles and chiseled facial features.

The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided. This coupled with years of watching girls go for tanned, muscular jerk-offs with nice cars while he desperately hopes someone will realize that how viable he actually is will spawn and incubate the nice guy’s insecurities and he will eventually abandon his views, dumb-down his speech, take-up weight-lifting and switch majors from cancer research with a minor in theoretical physics to playground management so he can devote his time to emulating Baywatch characters and football players so that he will one day be viewed as more than a “nice guy.”

The nice guy will eventually work up the courage to ask out his attractive female friend but will invariably be turned down because she’s so self-centered that she’d never actually had a smidgeon of compassion for the nice guy’s feelings or even realized that he’s interested in girls. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will downplay the supposed friendship to the point where they never speak again, which in turn will make the nice guy depressed (ironically, he won’t have anyone to talk to) because he’s devoted so much time and energy and has become so warped from being exposed to these kinds of people that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like shit.

The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that people primarily care about physical appearances and that shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty.”
"Jeez Patrick, I hope I can find a nice guy like you someday."

"Well, if you need me I'll be at home, crying myself to sleep while masturbating to the sound of my 70-year-old neighbors having sex...I might also play some ps2."
by desperryado October 03, 2005
Nice Guys (TM) are the guys that make a point of announcing themselves as "nice", and who whine about never getting laid.

Many of the other definitions were written by "Nice Guys".

They're not.

They think they're entitled to sex just because they hold open a door once in a while. They're unsure of themselves to the point they can't manage a declarative sentence. They think strumming guitar makes them deep and they can't understand why it hasn't turned them into a pussy magnet. They are, almost without fail, sexist but tell themselves they're not because, of course, they're a Nice Guy. They tell themselves "nice guys don't get ahead" as an excuse for their own failings. They wrongly believe that women only like jerks, and are deeply bitter about it.

Most women do not like jerks. Women really do like nice guys. But a nice guy is NOT the dude playing gentleman so he can be rewarded with head. The real nice guys -the ones women really do want to date and fuck -are the ones who are genuinely decent human beings. Guys who make a point of calling themselves Nice Guys do not generally fall under this category. And they wonder why they aren't getting any ladies?

So, you fucking internet whiners, how about instead of pissing and moaning about how women never see what a great fella you are and take your pants off all because you took them shopping (you charmer, you!) you actually put some effort into being a real, live nice person instead of a Nice Guy (TM) ?
"Man, ladies only like jerks! I totally took this smokin' hot piece of ass -er, I mean, young lady -out for coffee that one time and didn't even suggest she skip the whipped cream so she could keep from getting fat, and she STILL would rather go out with the dude that treats her like a human being! Nice guys just finish last, I guess."
by MagVik October 20, 2011
There are nice guys, and there are "nice guys".

The latter believe that there are only 2 ways to be male: to be either a "macho man" (misogynistic, narcissistic, aggressive jerkoff) or a "nice guy" (misogynistic, narcissistic, passive-aggressive jerkoff, but also manipulative and spineless). They believe that talking to a woman for five seconds without saying "shut up bitch" means that they're a paragon of everything women want and are thus automatically owed pussy. When they're denied it, it's the woman's failing.

Although they see themselves as having no self-esteem, in reality they actually view themselves as better than "macho men" and when women reject them clearly said women have been lying when they say they want a "nice guy". They thus try and turn into the macho jerks they claim to despise because that's what women "actually want".

Never does it occur to them that 1) they're not actually very nice 2) by and large women don't want macho jerks, they're just less annoying than "nice guys" 3) there’s a third option: being an ACTUALLY nice guy. Someone who DOESN'T try and screw with women's heads, someone who has ACTUAL respect for women rather than just tries a different dishonest tactic to get laid, and someone who has the guts to be honest about what they want and the spine to suck it up when they don't get it rather than whining about how dreadful women are and getting gradually more bitter and hateful.
Nice guy: I'm such a nice guy, why don't girls want me? They say they want nice guys! But they go out with macho jerks! Or they dump me for them! They're all lying bitches who break your heart!
Actually nice guy: Arrogant, misogynistic, whiny - what woman WOULDN'T want you?
by bald_rick October 30, 2011
Insecure men who are generally useless at everything, which is why they don't get girls. If a man is smart, confident, good-looking, ambitious, witty, AND nice, will he be called 'a nice guy'? No. He'll be called cute, or sexy, or any of a number of positive terms.

The 'nice guy' tag is left as a consolation prize for those useless bastards whose only redeeming quality is their niceness. These guys can't make women feel special (apart from being an emotional tampon), don't have the confidence or style to show that they're able and talented, and don't have any touch of charm or wit. In short, they can't really compete with other men because they're too hesitant and insecure.

Thus, they deliberately pander to attractive women whom they put on a pedestal, not out of genuine concern for women as friends, but because they secretly want some, and this is the only way in which they can really try and get some.

But women can smell this, so they tag them as nice guys: the perfect friends, and the worst of all possible lovers (serial killers aside).
Woman 1: That John, he's a nice guy and all, but...
Woman 1's friends all giggle in shared understanding.
by okcsk October 11, 2006
A guy who, rather than risk rejection by asking women out, forges friendships with them hoping that eventually it'll lead to romance. A Nice Guy will often claim that they treat women with respect and then get angry when they don't reward him with sex.

Not to be confused with a guy who is geuinely nice.
Nice Guy: All these other guys treat girls like shit! I've never gone around acting like an asshole! Why don't you date me? It's not fair!
Woman: I'm sorry, am I supposed to be interested in you just because you meet minimum standards of decency?
by peppermint cupcake February 15, 2012
A nice guy is loving,careing thats there for her in the time of need and repects her but in the end it.women that go out with nice guys will suck the life out of you and take your money. nice guys when are you going to wake up a stop feeling sorry about your self being nice will only give you heart break and pain and being used because women see you as being weak
nice guy saying:am a nice guy. girl saying:your sweet i just want to be friends (she thinking) do have money
by greenshadowblue September 26, 2008
A man who places women on a pedestal and thinks that because he is nice to a woman is "owed" some form of attention or love. Often clingy. When relationships fails, blames women for not liking "nice guys" instead of realizing his behavior and pedestal-placing is what gets him rejected.
See other examples of "Nice Guy" that take a sympathetic view.
by GarrettHawke December 30, 2011
A person of the male variety that has no personality of his own, and makes up for it by giving a girl compliments until she, hopefully, at some point in the distant future, may give him a disinterested hand-job while watching Grey's Anatomy.

Not to be confused with a Genuine Guy, the nice guy may give off the appearance of understanding, so that a mentally unstable girl (Probably with an eating disorder or depression) feels like she can trust in him. He sometimes likes to pretend that he has a deep and meaningful side to him in order to get a girl to feel sympathy for him.

Note: On many occasions, a nice guy may seem like he's trying to do what's best for the Girl. This is false. When a nice guy says "You shouldn't be dating X, he's not any good for you", what he is not trying to get you to make the right choice. He's trying to get in your pants, and he's using the lowest possible way of doing so: Deception.

The main difference between normal guys and nice guys is that a normal guy will say what he thinks, whereas a nice guy will say whatever will make a girl the happiest.

In short: If you're a girl, avoid them like the plague.

If you ARE a nice guy, harden the fuck up and form a personality of your own.
When a guy likes a girl:

Normal guy: "Hey, want to go out on a date?"

Nice guy: "I love you, I'll only ever be happy if you're with me, so if you don't go out with me I'll kill myself!"

(Note: Some guy actually used that last line on my girlfriend. What's even more depressing is that she fell for it)
by Zerotrousers March 14, 2011

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