Irritating, overly-confident, arrogant, uneducated Street Monkey, indigenous to Scotland and much much harder than the english chavs.
Males are usually found wearing Ned Tartan Caps (Burberry)and brightly coloured Shellsuits. Their habitat usually includes off-licenses that sell Buckfast (or a "Bottle of Whit the fuck ye gawking at, ya bawbag" as it is locally known) Their IQ is usually around five points short of a cannibis plant, which they smoke consistantly in a vain hope of increasing intelligence. They tend to hunt in packs or 10-20 and can be menancing to the rest of the general public - Although if you lamp the gobbiest wee shite amongst them and the pituitary retard (6'4" at 14 years old) then generally they run away making baboon noises and disappear into the undergrowth for a couple of hours. The male communicates with other males in grunts, farts and burps and simple phrases like "Gie's a swally o yer bucky man" and "check the airse on thon wee hairy" which are about the limit of speech their education allows.
The female of the species is defined by the wobble of lard which cocoons her body and this is only held in place by here over-stretched thong and too small bra. Most of the females will be pregnant before the age of sixteen unless the nedette is in Dundee when she will be pregnant by 13 years old. The females are like magpies in that they like things which are shiny and will marry their male ned for the price of a £19.99 ring from Elizabeth Duke's in Argos even if it causes their fingers to turn green.
Alternatively if the male ned is simply "Wantin his hole" then all he has to do is purchase or steal a 3 litre bottle of Frosty Jack's Chemical - never seen an apple - Cider which when placed in the line of sight of a nedette causes her lard to burst her thong and for her legs to spread rapidly even before he offers her a swally..
Examples of neds can be found outside any off-licence in Scotland for the males and outside the nurseries at home time for the females
Non - educated delinquent Scottish Chav. Different accent ... simular clothing and same attitude.
Normal Person: Hello
Normal Person: ?
Ned: Aye pure dingy man am no a ned!!
Normal Person: m'kay.
A Ned is a Non Educated Delinquent. They are usually in groups of about 10-20 and call themselves "Teams, Fleetos and Bundys". They are all weak and only "fight" in groups and by "fight" i mean "slashing or "chibbing" or using any other instrument other than their fists. Dress-sense-wise most have a Berghaus jacket (usually stolen from someone they have attcked) complete witha burberry hat tuned to the moon and bright white socks pulled over joggers covered in "bommers". A "bommer" being a small hole burned from smoking hash in a joint. Female nedettes referred to as Sengas are pretty much the same although they have 5 rings on average on each finger complete with fake gold earrings. They hang around the streets looking for a fight , stealing cars and drinkin cheap booze usually "buckie" or the really poor, "Merrydown" or even a cheap bottle of cider costing about £1.50 a litre. They have poor vocabulary , usually because the dropped out of school at the age of 12. Unemployed little "hairies" their mothers couldn't care less about them as they're usually herion addicts themselves. No life ahead of them except alcholism , abuse and homelessness.
" Wit u fuckin lookin it ya fuckin fanny ? "
"Am gonny chib you ya dafty ! "
" ... Fleeto numba wan , runnin the show ! "
The epitome of obnoxious youth, to be found hanging around in parks, on street corners and outside the local 'offie' or dealer's house waiting to buy cheap cider, buckie or resin.
Pastimes include beating up strangers, meeting their parole officer and drinking afore-mentioned cider or buckie.
Generally attired in fake burberry cap tilted skywards, trackie bottoms tucked into football socks and a variety of fake gold "sovvies". In the case of the female of the species, this is accessorised by a roll of fat cut in two by a high-rise thong, 17 fake gold hoops in each ear and a screaming, ugly toddler to which she gave birth at the age of 13.
Favourite phrases include 'awrite, ya bam', 'Ah'm gonnae kick yer cunt in' and 'are youse lookin' fur a fight?'
"I was innocently walking down the street when a ned threw an empty buckie bottle at my head."
Scots : A young waster who lives in the Glasgow area; a hooligan; a gang member, with skip cap, tracksuit and socks tucked into trainers. Poss. from "Non-Educated Deliquent"
"Ah'm no a ned"
the male: usually very thin, wearing a berghaus jacket, trakies tucked into socks, cheap(fake) lacoste trainers, hair that looks like it could land a plane, uaually stoned and drunk(oot der heed man) and would shag anything with a pulse as long as she is a nedette
the female: either very fat or very thin, face that has been plastered with a brand of foundation that has been produced from the tango factory, wearing very little clothes that show off the eight month old bump, wearing three or more fake gold rings on every finger, at least two 3" thick chains sportin someone elses name and usually found on the end of a male neds cock.
similarities: are usually found standing on random street corners drinking cheap alcohol called buckfast or md 20-20, every second word is fuck or some other random word that is intended to offened but no one knows what it means
look at dat big mad scary goff man, am gonnae chibb u ya baw, aye a fucked yer maw last night n she wis luvin it man
A Scottish term for the often uneducated and invariably aggressive teenagers found throughout Britain. Identified by gold jewellery (especially sovereign rings), baseball caps, white trainers and/or Kappa/Burberry branded clothing. The name is thought to derive from 'Edward', as in teddy boy. It is in no way an acronym for "non-educated delinquent", which is in any case ungrammatical.
"A bunch of wee neds broke in last week and vandalised the place."
Northeast Drunk. An alcoholic resident/semi-transient denizen of Northeast Minneapolis.
They once thundered across the post-industrial Nordeast wasteland in great numbers, but gentrification and the closing of Sully's bar have severely curtailed their numbers in recent years.
Typified by the wearing of trucker caps, having of grimy beards, nicotine stained fingers, and less than optimal dental counts.
Northeast has a long and storied drinking tradition, but the beginning of the modern NED era can be traced to the closing of the Grain Belt Brewery in 1976.
NED :"I used to work at the Grain Belt Brewery. I'm waiting for the place to open up again so I can get my job back."
Me, on bus:"Didn't that place close like 30 years ago? And isn't it now a library and condominium?"
NED:"They can make it a brewery again."
ME:"Well, good luck."
NED:"Spare anything for some Natural Ice?"