Kid B: Dude, quit being a Napoleon. Your parents are rad!
Building the strongest army of all times, invaded Russia in a desperate attempt to aquire envious and lying Tsar Alexander's respect as a legitimate european Emperor, but failed despite his brilliant military understanding of battle winning and despite the fact that he suceeded in occupying Moscow and all the other cities he had reached, that had simply been evacuated or made useless by the russians, always trying to avoid battles (the russians winning the war by avoiding battle, one might say).
600000 french experienced, valuable soldiers, polish and other french-allied men, freezed, starved, marched and fought to death in an all-swallowing russian winter. But Napoleon, always among his soldiers, and drinking form their same cups and marching through the same mud (at least for a couple of meters), was still regarded as a great charismatic, and nearly mythical, living legend-like leader, worthy to die for and to fight for, even after the russian desaster.
The English Alliance (austria, russia, hannover, prussia) chased Napoleon from power through diplomatic skills, a strong army menacing to invade Paris, fuelling inner french oppositions, and favored by frances general weariness and tiredness of Napoleons restlessness and neverending wars and battles, as victorious they might be.
Napoleon was too much of a great caliber for them. He would definitely be too much of a demanding leader for us, today, because we're all psychology-reading and emotional-values-loving pussies.
May he be an example to all. May he rest in peace in the realm of glory.
Napoleon: i already made like infinity of those at scout camp
2. A forced french kiss.
The shamwow guy tried to napoleon some hooker but she pulled a lorena bobbit on his tongue.
She was into it after she got the ole'eon.