-spontaneous house fires, resulting from tasks ranging from driver updates, to simply turning on the afflicted computer
-requiring no less than 4 video cards priced at $599.99 to play farmville 3d at an acceptable framerate
-an unhealthy desire to have neon lights, blatantly homosexual green orcs or army mans all over your electronic equipment
-a sudden reverent, deep faith in grandiose acronyms without knowing what they mean or do (16xTMSGRSDSAA, Fermi, PhysX being examples)
-a urgent need to pay off any nearby game developers to plaster 3 minute long logo videos to their games startup, and beg them to optimize for your vastly inferior hardware (How They're Meant to be Paid)
-chronic wood screws, pork shoulders and 1.7% yield with delays
Treatment can be administered at your local ATI/AMD dealer.