Friend: " why? It's total shit, and my grandma just died"
Friend: "exactly! You need a good laugh"
Regarded as the worst fanfiction in the history of all fan fiction, My Immortal is highly entertaining. Giving us new words like "virility" instead of "virginity", "mastacate" instead of "masturbate", and "excretion" instead of "discretion".
Very much recommended. You don't need to be a harry potter fan- it will make you laugh, I swear.
Friend two: "No, I'm afraid I'll vomit."
Friend: "But I want to find out what happens to Ebony/Enoby/Ebobby/Egogy/Tara, or however else the author decides to spell her name!"
If it is satire, it is on an Andy Kaufman level of genius.
The story stars Terra as Ebony Dark'Ness Dementia Raven Way. A self described goff (spelling Goth with oddly situational Cockney phonetics) vampire (with straight teeth) who loves Hot Topic and hates herself some "prepz" (A word I never heard anyone, outside of a high school, speak with any sincerity short of A.C. Slater from Saved by the Bell.
The story features many unique and unfortunate points of interest.
1. Virtually every chapter starts with the author yelling and swearing at the reader base. Threatening to stop writing if at least five good reviews aren't posted. Essentially holding crap for hostage.
2. Character names are apparently suggestions. Each character, including her own, is systematically misspelled in a way that puts the greatest telemarketers to shame. Watching her try to spell "McGonagall" is sad, like watching a limbless man in a three legged race.
3. Harry Potter is now a vampire and, in a veritable orgy of creativity, refers to himself as "Vampire".
4. Dumbledore swears like a sailor. Dropping more f-bombs than a Dennis Leary standup set.
5. Voldemort gives Ebony a gun at one point to kill Vampire Potter, and speaks in Ye' Olde Rene Faire Englishe.
6. Ebony is in a gothic metal band called "Bloody Gothic Rose 666". Apparently they sound like a mix of between Good Charlette, Slipknot, My Chemical Romance and really bad idea.
other members are B'loody Mary (her jack off friend), Vampire, Draco, Ron (aka Diabolo) and motherfucking HAGRID (on washboard bass).
7. Apparently the dress code of Hogwarts has been replaced with a giant, magic Hot Topic that Good Charlotte routinely plays concerts at. I also hear Fred and George are now running the Hogsmeade Mall's Spender Gifts selling magic animated porn postcards, tin ankh/pentagram/potleaf jewelry and, fart based boardgames.
8. Many of the 45 chapters are dedicated, almost entirely, to the vampiric clown outfits she swathes herself in.
9. Even though she HATES "prepz" (a term that no one uses outside of high school) all of her favorite bands are ironically NOT Goth. Good Charlotte and My Chemical Romance are pop groups.
10. "I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was, because he's a major fucking hottie."
...Think about that last line...why would you want to be related to someone you thought was sexy!?!?
2. A satirical masterpiece, combining all the most undesirable aspects of most fanfics. Some of these include; constant horrific grammatical/spelling errors, rape of cannon of a popular movie (harry potter in this case), forgetting setting/character's names to a confusing degree, forced blending of personal interest, promotion of one poseur clique over another (goths), and Pre-teen virgin sexual fantasies. Fictional author tara gilesbe (often misspelled), invents cliched characters who seem to have the exact same personality, and similar appearence. she also awkwardly blends fictional characters with her real life friends reflecting their relationships.
Tara: Lolz!! prepz be wear!! my immortal fart two cums ut dis weak!!! goffs rule
It's a very beautiful song. I'm not an Evanescence fan, but I love the song.
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