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22.
A muffin is a human female who engages in inauthentic friendly interactions with other parties despite having largely neutral or out right ill-will towards said parties. A muffin commonly expresses to these parties that she is a true "BFF" or that she would later like to "hang out". No further evidence of "BFF" status is ever provided. Appointments to "hang out" are either solidified and later dropped by the muffin, or more routinely never given a concrete date and time. Other common attributes of muffins inclue: Saccharine insincerity, talking badly of others behind their backs despite being kind to them in person, and Facebook pictures which involve the thrusting forward of one's bosom in an awkward attempt to posture attractively.
(Actual Interaction between a PERSON and a MUFFIN as recorded at a college town social event 9/25/2010)
MUFFIN: Oh, hi there. I haven't seen you in like forever.
PERSON: Oh, hi. How are you doing?
MUFFIN: I am doing so great. Isn't this the coolest place in the world? This is my favorite place to go ever.
PERSON: Yeah, it's alright I guess. How have you be-
MUFFIN: Remember when we took that absolutely awful class with that professor who smelled like old Rice Krispies. That class was so stupid.
PERSON: Uh, yeah, I guess.
MUFFIN: You know what? We should hang out. Seriously, you were like my best friend in that class. We were practically like sisters. We gotta do something.
PERSON: Oh, sure. You doing anything next weekend? We could grab some lunch.
MUFFIN: Oh no. I'm super busy that day, but you are on my Facebook, right?
PERSON: Um...
MUFFIN: *using cellphone* I just sent you a request. That'll be 1263 for me. *giggle* Oh hi, Jessica, I haven't seen you in forever. You know you are my best- *walks away*
PERSON: *shrug* Bye?
by Cabbage Flavored Popcorn January 12, 2013
 
1.
A girls vagina - Many different kinds like blueberry (shaved), buttered (with cum), and many more.
Hey baby, can I butter your muffin?
by o.O April 20, 2005
 
2.
One of the greatest words on the planet. This word can be used for anythin (see example)
Insult: "You Stupid muffin"
Compliment: "Hey, Nice muffins"
Self Respect: "I am the muffin king"
Insult Yourself: "I am the worlds biggest muffin"
by nobody important March 03, 2004
 
3.
a delicious and fluffy treat that comes in many flavours
dutch chocolate muffin
by muffinist November 10, 2003
 
4.
A really good bakery item-thing. This is probally the only definition for a edible muffin. (Don't you dare say pussy!) I like to paint muffins.
I was a muffin for Halloween, and some crazy old guy tried to eat me.
by Kirug January 05, 2005
 
5.
A sympathetic name for someone.
"Aww is muffin sad?"
by Shawna December 07, 2004
 
6.
A game consisting of a group of guys circle jerking onto a muffin which is located in the center of said circle jerk. Players compete by jerking their member until they ejaculate their "frosting" on the muffin. The last jerker to frost the muffin receives the pleasure of eating said muffin, along with all its frosty goodness.
Tom: I'm bored
Kyle: I have an idea! lets play muffin!!!
Grant: Absolutely!
by Corey Ellison March 04, 2008
 
7.
Delicious personal cakes. They come in many flavors like blueberry and chocolate!
Muffins are good. I ate one.
by Coasterboi March 13, 2008