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Contrary to popular believe, the word muff is not associated with hair at all. Instead, the word "muff" is an inoffensive, slang word for a vagina. Muffs can range from dainty and tight to floppy and roast beef colored. Some muffs smell fishy or sweaty, and others smell like skin or roses. Some muffs are hairy, others are bare, and some have razor burn or ingrown hairs. Females (and transexuals) of all ages have muffs. There are baby muffs and grandma muffs. Most muffs have a week of bleeding, unless the owner is on some sort of contraceptive (see: Depovera, Seasonal). It is also the root word for Muffdiver, Muffed, and Muffdoctor.
Jan decided to go on birth control because the muffdoctor said that it would prevent pregnancy, cramping, and that weird smell coming from her muff.
by Muffowner April 15, 2006
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A 'muff' in more innocent days was: a small cylindrical fur cover that one rests their hands between for warmth. It is used in Charlote Bronte's 'JANE EYRE,' I just couldn't stop laughing when I read this...
"Gathering my mantle about me, and sheltering my hands in my muff, I did not feel the cold." Middle of chapter 12.
by Jonoboi August 07, 2006
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The vengeful act of crapping on a lover's chest while they sleep.

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3
it was a very cold day and her hands were in a muff
by don June 16, 2003
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4
Mandatory Unattractive Female Friend. every group of 3 or more girls will have one, oftentimes in groups of two, there will be one one hot one, and one MUFF. for the MUFF, there is the wingman!
she's hot, but her friend is a MUFF
by JMGL February 16, 2004
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5
A place in Co. Donegal Ireland that has an annual diving contest
Bloody Hell, His face is all red from muff diving out of season !
by tripedalminotaur December 29, 2008
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6
Short for muffaletta (or muffuletta), the sandwich invented at New Orleans's Central Grocery in the early 20th century. The sandwich, which is rooted in Sicilian cuisine, comprises several different Italian meats-- typically hard salami, mortadella and capicola-- as well as provolone cheese on a crusty, round, sesame seed-encrusted Italian loaf, but the defining characteristic is its rich olive salad, considered a delicacy in New Orleans and beyond.
"Don't fuggit ta ax fuh extra olive salad onnat muff, brah."
by jotis December 20, 2005
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The vengeful act of crapping on a lover's chest while they sleep.

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7
Acronym for Man Up For Fuck Sake. Suitably a response to someones inane whining and bitching.
"OMG Im so ill and tired and blah blah blah...."

"MUFFS you twat!!!"
by damon rosco December 21, 2010
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