A moderately large hoofed mammal found in parts of North America and Western Europe. The muff mule utilizes its mountain goat like beard and pronounced lips to pleasure the muff of any woman who dares to interact with it. The muff mule will feast on a muff for over 5 hours consecutively once he has seduced his prey. It is due to extremely developed jaw muscles that the muff mule is capable of such long lasting muff feasting sessions. The muff mule's temperament, while normally subdued and peaceful, has been known to become aggressive and violent toward those who interfere with it after it has begun its ritual of muff seduction or muff feasting.
My girlfriend and I went hiking, but we ran into a fucking muff mule. Once she saw its beard it was all over, it feasted on her muff for hours while I had to just watch lest I be brutally kicked by the defensive muff mule.