Getting your balls licked by an old man while sitting at a sushi bar. Named after George Takei's character Mr. Sulu in Star Trek.
Boy now that we are in Tokyo I could really go for a large Sapporo followed up with a Sloppy Sulu.
Mr.Sulu was the Protein Torpedo expert on the USS Enterprise, and as such was subjected to several protein torpedo impacts on a regular basis.
whereas captain kirk keeps getting all the green intersteller women and not saving any for his wingman mr spock. (similar to cock blocking except it happens in the future.)
in a bar mr. spock was getting close to sealing the deal with a romulain female when captain kirk beamed in and totally spock blocked him.
Star Trek is a series of TV shows were a bunch of Americans travel troughout the universe encountering garish aliens who speak perfect English. Said encounter between the space gringos and the aliens results in cosmic-sized heaps of trouble, and the gringos are only able to avoid being vaporized in the last possible second.
However, instead of learning their lesson and trying to stay out of mortal danger, a week later they're once again ass-deep in trouble.
Sample dialog in Star Trek:
Mr. Spock: "Captain, we're all about to DIE!!!
Captain: Wait, how long do we have till the top of the hour?
Mr. Spock: "About 43 minutes"
Captain: "Don't worry, we still have 42 minutes to come up with something"
Talking with many awkward pauses in one's speech, to try and make whatever one is saying more impressive and/or dramatic. Named after William Shatner, who had a severe case of it while playing Captian Kirk.
William Shatner: "Mr. Sulu! Ahead! Warp factor six! Engage!"
Mr. Sulu: "Captain, your Shatner syndrome again."
JewJutsu is the art of conning someone out of their money, the art of being a jew. The etymology is as follows: Jew is aramaic or hebrew for being jew, and Jutsu is japanese and refers to the art or technique of something, like juujutsu--the art of softness.
Damn, i can't believe i fell for Bernie Madoffstein's shrewd deception and lost all my friggin' money...his JewJutsu was far too cunning for me.
Japanese Samurai: Get ready to face the wrath of my juujutsu foolish Jewish peon...You've robbed these rice-farmers long enough!
Mr. Goldbergstein: You may have your juujutsu, but you must face my JEWJUTSU!!!!
|7.||Vagina Distortion Field|
Like the notorious reality distortion field (RDF) of Steve Jobs, a Vagina Distortion Field (VDF) affects perception, which thereby alters behavior. When someone is affected by a woman's VDF, every aspect of her being seemingly improves in that person's view. A woman's VDF typically only influences those who have not yet had access to said vagina. Being warped by a VDF is different than being pussy whipped. With the latter, the whipped individual behaves abnormally to maintain access to the pussy, but perception of the vagina owner is not altered. The VDF often has the greatest affect on the owner of the vagina, making her vastly overestimate her worth, influence, and potential.
Spock: "Captain, you are once again risking the lives of the entire crew in the pursuit of some green slag."
Kirk: "Mr. Spock, your libido-less Vulcan logic fails to grasp the enormity of the daily Pon Farr that starship command subjects on a man."
Spock: "Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov, move the Enterprise as far as is necessary and raise whatever shield is needed to protect the captain's mind from the insidious Vagina Distortion Field that is destroying his judgement."
<cue Kirk fight music>