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1.
Defecation immediately upon waking.

If one habitually suffers morning duece symptoms (being woken by abdomenal pains, excessive farting and/or swamp ass) diagnosis of Morning Deuce Syndrome (MDS) is likely.
"I couldn't sleep in this morning.. a god damn morning deuce woke me from my slumber."

"Yeah, so I ran some tests and well, you came up positive. It looks like you've got Morning Deuce Syndrome and well, here's the real kicker... you may never sleep in again."
by Dr. Marc Pierson January 04, 2005