Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer  

A parable passed down for generations describing the futility of the unintelligent to perform simple tasks.

Since ancient times, when an imbecile, ill-advised coworker or friend has attempted an assignment beyond their capabilities, they are often compared to a monkey endlessly trying to fix an engine that won't start by beating on it with a hammer, because monkeys do not possess the skills of a mechanic.

After being shown how twice, Dan never did learn how to open the fence, so it rained on him a few hours later. He was just like a Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer that day.

Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer by Louisiana Gold December 21, 2008

Beating the monkey

Pleasuring one's self near the groin area.

"I found a picture of my ex-girlfriend nude and my mother caught me beating the monkey."

Beating the monkey by yungmunch February 12, 2010

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi 

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.

I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi by Catamount June 21, 2008

betting on the monkey

Betting on a sure thing

This stock price is definitely going up. I am taking my savings and betting on the monkey!

betting on the monkey by Barry Starstar January 10, 2008

monkeybating 

The act of a monkey masturbating usually in public display such as a zoo.

Everytime I go to the zoo I witnessed some very typical monkeybating.

monkeybating by Malodorous June 24, 2016

monkeybating 

The act of a monkey masturbating.

Every time I go to the zoo I see some quality monkeybating.

monkeybating by Malodorous July 9, 2016