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5.
mom
A manipulating, self-centered bitch. EXTREMELY hypocritical and illogical, my mom will do anything to win an argument. She belittles you, makes fun of you, puts you down, all in order to get her point across so she can be the "dominant" one. Sunny and sweet outside, and maniacal and cold at home, she's a backstabbing racist old-fashioned who exaggerates things waaay to much, again, so she can win an argument. I cannot tell her ANYTHING about my life without her critisizing me or making me feel worse. She uses her children to show off to other parents, something she can be proud of and brag over the phone. She's ignorant and superstitious and emotional and lame. I am only grateful for her giving birth to me, and feeding me.

Not all mothers are like this; just a few. I just wanted to post a definition where mom isn't the most wonderful woman in your life.
1) Her: Mexicans and Blacks are lazy.

2) Her: God, your friends are such sluts! They can use tampons already? How can they use tampons, unless their hymens are already broken, meaning they must of had sex! Whores!

3) Her: Look at your sister, sitting in her room, reading a book and studying! Look at what YOU'RE doing.
Me: I read almost everyday and get straight As!
Her: Well, you read too much!

4) Her: You have not accomplished anything this year! You are a loser and you will never make it in life! The only reason you aren't failing at school is because of ME.

5) Her: *nag nag*
Me: Hold on, I'm on the phone.
Her: *continues nagging*
Me: Be quiet Ma, I'm on the phone!
Her: Don't tell me to shut up! Such disrespect! I can do whatever I want to, nag nag...

ONE WEEK LATER....

Me: Mom, I need to go to the library to check out some-
Her: SHUT UP, I'M ON THE PHONE!

6) Her: You cannot dye your hair! Once you do, you will become a bad girl and start having sex with random strangers!
Me: How can hair color determine your behaviour?
Her: Look at all the people who have green hair!

7) Her: You mean the Earth revolves around THE SUN?!?!

I swear, all of these anecdotes are true. She has caused me severe psychological damage; bad self image, low self esteem, depression. I wish I had your mother instead.
by Mattie May 07, 2005
3568 2533
 
29.
mom
(no not the woman that gave birth to you) the person in a friend group that always provides the unwanted good advice.
billy: hey lets go jump off that bridge
joe: i don't think that's a very good idea we might die
billy: Okay MOM
by dawatlaume April 04, 2011
31 17
 
30.
mom
made of money
m=made
o=of
m=money

mom: do you think im made of money?
kid: isn't that what mom stands for?
by mee53197(: February 21, 2011
26 12
 
31.
Mom
Your mom is the one who shoved you through her vagina into the uncomfortable, cold air. She is completely illogical (she'll win any arguement by saying 'because i said so'), overreacting, hypocritical, and downright mean. she'll contradict herself and not even care. she'll start to care about things she didn't give a crap about before (my mom has suddenly started to hate it when i say crap, when she couldn't've cared less before). But for some reason, you love her anyway no matter what.
Me: Mom, can i get the new Red Faction game?

Mom: no.

Me: (mildly angry voice) Why?!?!?!

Mom: don't give me that attitude young man! because I SAID SO. now go up to your room and don't come out!
by Chowderz April 25, 2011
24 12
 
32.
mom
the devil on earth you can't escape. its like a dark shadow that sucks out your soul.
run from mom shes evil you just dont belive it
by ello kitty 1515 September 10, 2011
21 12
 
33.
Mom
A crazy loon who loves you so much, yet she she drives you insane! She cares for you, but embarrases you in front of all your friends and makes you want to scream and cry. She is someone you want to throw out the window ever so often, but is someone you truly can't live without.
Mom: HOW DARE YOU GET AN A INSTEAD OF AN A+!!

Me: Ok, I'm sorry...

Me: *Breathes*

Mom: WATCH UR TONE LITTLE LADY! WHERE DID U LEARN THAT? FROM UR FRIENDS???
by K6 November 18, 2013
6 0
 
34.
Mom
That annoying lady we all love.
Hey mom, can you be less annoying?
by Asvari May 26, 2013
7 1
 
35.
A random word to ask! Haha!
Emily: Ooooh, what a big package!
Armani: Mom?
Emily: ...The mailman is here
by pinksoo January 16, 2009
11 5