Function: noun

1: A cultured, sophisticated, knowledgeable, discriminating enthusiast who posts fair and balanced, unbiased, insightful reviews and constructive criticisms of various science fiction works on the Internet’s Moist Board.

2: An executive member of the Illuminati.

3: A hater of cockatiels.

4: A rabid fan of David Hasselhoff.

5: A highly skilled cell phone hacker.

6: All of the above.
The Moistie’s are cool, but they have a long list of bannable offenses at their bulletin board.
by AuntyMouse April 22, 2009

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Top Definition
The female version of a woody, a hard-on, a boner. When a woman becomes sexually aroused, her vagina becomes moist, or she "gets a moistie".
I totally got a moistie when I saw Brad take his shirt off and reveal those huge pecs.
by toddler November 09, 2004

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A young (not THAT young!) beautiful, sensuous and precocious girl who's fully developed, well beyond puberty.
The volleyball court at the beach was full of "moisties."

by William Dean A. Garner September 09, 2003

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A Moistie can be compared to that of the similar definition Stiffy, but in relation to a woman. generally the fluid is in a similar volume to Niagra Falls.
When I see Ownes Stiffy, I get a moistie that is in a similar volume to Niagra Falls.
by jbbjshlws November 24, 2008

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n. attractive, young, and innocent-looking female. Can be traced to Hawaiian infotech emigres to the San Francisco Bay Area circa 1995.
You shoulda seen da hella moisties at that Tibetan Freedom Concert in Golden Gate Park last week.
by Witness10mm August 10, 2005

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A moistie is a rediculously HOT young girl (preferably between the ages of 16 and 16 and 1/2) who, while illegal to sleep with, can clean your house, water your lawn, make you dinner, etc. Moisties like to be around males 3-5 years older than they are, and often get 'played'. Every hot girl was once a moistie (See Moistie Alumni) or will be a moistie (See Moistie Cadet).

Hailing from a cool way of saying "wet behind the ears", some say the origin of 'moistie' traces back to 2000 in Los Alamos, NM.
Clean, moistie...
Suck, moistie...
Go home, moistie...
by NastyNas December 20, 2004

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A moistie is a young girl (preferably between the ages of 16 and 16 and 1/2) who, while illegal to sleep with, can clean your house, water your lawn, make you dinner, etc. Moisties like to be around males 3-5 years older than they are, and often get 'played'. Every hot girl was once a moistie (See Moistie Alumni) or will be a moistie (See Moistie Cadet).

Hailing from a cool way of saying "wet behind the ears", some say the origin of 'moistie' traces back to 2000 in Los Alamos, NM.
Clean, moistie...
Suck, moistie...
Go home, moistie.
by NastyNas December 20, 2004

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