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five finger mistress 

Simply the hand you use to masturbate.
If your girlfriend doesn't do it for you your five finger mistress will.
five finger mistress by VitoVane November 12, 2017

flesh matress 

that chicks on her back so much she's a flesh matress
flesh matress by clc May 8, 2004

Sinistrous Mistress 

A sexy, left-handed woman. Also known as a sinister sister.
She's left-handed and a little bit sinister. She's a sinistrous mistress.

professional mistress 

An upscale prostitue who services a small number of men (usually executives) on a regular, long-term basis in exchange for them contributing to her financial well being. Each man may call on her anytime on his regular day (eg. 1st & 3rd Tuesdays). If he needs her for a Friday,Saturday or other days, additional negotiations are necessary.
I could never be a protitute - having to hustle for johns and taking risks, but being a professional mistress is great because I am in control of who I see and when, and the guys I pick really take good care of me.

Hotel Matress 

A fragrance created by Lady Gaga that smells like semen and blood.
Seth Myers(1):Excuse Me, but by any chance are you wearing Hotel Matress?

Seth Myers(2):No I'm not.

Seth Myers(1): So It's Just Semen and Blood?
Hotel Matress by Alman42 February 25, 2011

Dairy mistress

When dating a vegan, you're likely to not eat animal products when eating dinner with them. However, you likely eat animal products when at dinner with a friend(s) who is not vegan, and this friend(s) is/are your dairy mistress(es).

If your partner is vegetarian, the friend(s) would be a meat mistress(es).
Bob: Dude, I totally couldn't eat this grilled cheese if Susan was here; she became a vegan 6 months before we started dating. You're so my dairy mistress.