8
A comedian who happened to be the funniest person ever to walk the earth. Died earlier this year...and the world has been unfunny ever since. He was about to to a special on HBO that would have been fuckin' awesome...but now...it will never happen. Go figure...everyone who ever does something good for the world dies before they hit 30.
"I got a ant farm...them little bastards didn't grow shit." ~Mitch Hedberg~
by Sgt. Pepper May 10, 2005
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9
A american comedian.
02/24/1968–03/30/2005
"Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupus... one of those two doesn't sound right."--Mitch Hedberg
by nirvana563 May 07, 2005
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10
A comedian with the most off beat, hilarious sense of humour ever heard to man. Created a cult-like following of loyal subjects that wish they were half as funny as his dog. Tragically, Mitch departed this world in late March 2005, leaving us only with fond memories and this lesson learned:

1. Everyone worth anything is on drugs
2. Drugs kill people
3. Everyone worth anything dies
"I was sitting at a bar, and no one was talking to me cuz I had just did a show *Crowd laughs*, and this guy bumped into me, and he didn't apologize, he just said, 'Move!' which I thought was rude, so I said, 'Go to hell,' and then I started to run. He caught up with me. He had a moustache, a goatee, earrings, a pair of sunglasses, his hair was in a pony tail, and he was wearing a hat. He said, 'Hey! You got a lot of nerve!' I said, 'Hey, you've got a lot of............cranium accesories!" *Everyone laughs. Mitch laughs* Ha, this a smart crowd. When I play the dumb crowds I have to say, 'You've got a lot of shit on your head!'"
by Peasento May 05, 2005
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11
Probably one of the funniest comedians to ever stand on a stage and hold a microphone. His comedy was all over the place, had no real story line to it, but always made you laugh. Sadly though, Mitch died in 2005 of a heart complication.

Hopefully he's making funnies for God, Jesus, and all those bigshots up on the big stage in the sky. This deffinition is dedicated to you Mitch! You rock my socks!....Totally.

R.I.P. Mitch
Some infamous quotes from Mitch Hedberg::

"Some hotels don't have 13th floors because of supersticion...But people on the 14th floor, you know what floor you're really on. Jump out the window of the 13th floor and you will die earlier."

"Rice is great if you want 2000 of something."

"It dosn't matter whether you're black, white, green, or purple...oh wait - green or purple? I think we have to draw the line somewhere. So the hell with purple people...Unless they're choking...then help 'em!"
by Rose-Colored-Glasses August 14, 2006
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12
funny ass comedian.dak sunglasses are always present on his face.
some of his brilliannce:

i dont have a girlfriend, i just know a girl that will get really mad if i say that.

cucumbers are pickles that sold out.

a woman asked me where i see myself in five years,i said "celebratin the fifth year anniversary, of you askin me that question!"
by mitch fan October 02, 2004
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13
an american comedian known for his one-line non sequiturs. he was hilarious and may he rest in peace
I slept at my friends house, and he said "you have to sleep on the floor" i said "Damn gravity...got me again! You don't know how badly i wanted to sleep on the wall!"_ Mitch Hedberg

and

I have a king sized bed. Now i don't know any kings, but I'm sure that if one slept over, he would be comfortable... "Hey I'm a king!" "well you'll never guess what I have in store for you, exactly to your specifications"-Mitch Hedberg

and

You know how people say "i don't care if they're black, white, purple or green!"? ..oh now hold on a minute, you gotta draw the line somewhere...to hell with purple people! unless they're suffocating...theenn help em!-Mitch Hedberg
by teeeaaa May 03, 2006
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14
Mitchel Hedberg is a comedian. His comedy is unique in that you do not have to see him to understand the joke. Givin this information, it is safe to say that the uniqeness of his comedy has complimented the understanding of his CDs "Strategic grill locations" and "Mitch all together"
Xylophone is spelled with an X. It's like X didn't have enough to do so they had to promise it more. "Okay, you won't start alot of words, but you will have a co-staring role in Tic-Tac-Toe. And you will be aquainted with hugs and kisses. and you will make writing christmas easier. and you will mark the spot. and you will incedentaly start Xylophone. Are you happy now, you fucking X?
by The Kid January 02, 2005
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