| 1. | Steven Seagal | ||
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A very powerful man, one so powerful he beats his three wives for fun. Has hair the likes one has never seen; it resembles matted down beaver hair that never moves, even when fighting on top of a train or running around in the Alaskan wilderness. Currently weighing in at a cool 400 pounds, he doesn't have to actually fight anymore, just wave his hands and all have broken necks or arms. He dresses to kill in all black, which does not hide his bulky ass. No acting skills are required; all that is needed is to have a dick in your throat and be able to mumble "Mission Accomplished". In order to kill like Seagal, you must be able to slide for 20 minutes without a running start and shoot your enemies at the same time, even on the flatest of surfaces. (No reloading is required, your ammo is endless).
Every movie is made with his character having the name "John", "Jack", or "Casey". In order to write a plot for a Seagal movie, all you must do is have him a) be a cop, b) a mercenary or c) an ex-serviceman. Then Seagal must either save a sub, a town, a nuclear warhead, the environment, or all of the above. He must do battle with Columbian druglords, terrorists, or environmental evildoers. Then Seagal ultimately saves the day, and ends the movie with a snazzy one-liner. While the credits are rolling, you could have him strumming one of his guitars, and singing a jaunty little number. I totally Steven Seagalled that guy; Mission Accomplished.
I am Steven Seagal...someone has to take out the garbage. I tried it with my girlfriend, she said "mission accomplished, all the way in". |
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| 2. | Mission Accomplished | ||
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a phrase used equivalently with FAIL. Used by President George W. Bush when he proclaimed his mission in iraq accomplished on may 1st 2003. The iraq war has since become the biggest failure of american foreign policy since vietnam. All use of this phrase should be in reference to this noted failure. 1.
a. "Man, I bombed that test" "Mission Accomplished." b. (person spills coffee on self) Other: mission accomplished 2. (conjugated as a verb) "I'm taking two incompletes and my girlfriend found out I was cheating on her." "well, you're just accomplishing missions all over the place." |
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| 3. | Mission Accomplished and not in a Bush way | ||
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A way of saying something important has actually been accomplished for real, while at the same time mocking former president George W. Bush On May 1,2003 George W Bush landed on the deck of the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln for a photo-op wearing a flight suit and declared "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq when in fact the war had just begun and absolutuly nothing had been accomplished. Exactly 8 years later Osama bin Laden was killed in Pakistan by Navy Seals, this is an example of Mission Accomplished and not in a Bush way.
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| 4. | Mission accomplished | ||
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When you take a shit and when you wipe there is nothing there. Hey Jessica I just took a mission accomplished and I feel great!
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| 5. | Mission Accomplished | ||
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Something you say after you fuck up. This way, people will think you have actually succeeded when in fact you have failed so miserably your former supporters have crossed over. Mission Accomplished in Iraq, eh?
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| 6. | Mission Accomplished | ||
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A phrase denoting failure. Usually used in conjunction with a photo op (where the failure wears a military costume) so that the press can have a collective orgasm.
Typically is followed by protracted guerilla wars that kill 100s of Americans in an arbitrary nation in the Islamic world Before Mission Accomplished: 120 dead American troops
After Mission Accomplished: Over 1,000 dead American troops |
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| 7. | done dizzy | ||
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"done deal" (expression of agreement, closing on a contract, declaring a mission accomplished, setting something in stone, game over) Yo, T-Mac just nailed six consecutive threes. Let's go home, this game is a done dizzy.
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