* Your state pays a bounty for killing the state mascot.

* You consider a six-inch snowfall a blessing for the cities because It provides instant urban renewal.

* You consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping the food will swim by.

* You keep the snow tires on your truck all year because it isn't worth taking them off for only two months.

* You believe that rushing out on the lakes with your pick-up in November is nature's way of upgrading the state's gene pool.

* You have a town with men foolish enough to play a tackle football snow bowl game on the Sunday after Christmas for 37 years in a row.

* You have friends who schedule their wedding in the middle of January without a thought about weather conditions.

* You are proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation.

* You think a basketball team consists of twelve white boys.

* All your kids at school are above average.

* All your women are strong.

* You don't understand why everyone thinks Garrison Keillor is so funny.

* You KNOW there is no such place as Lake Wobegone, but you have drunk St. Wendell's beer.

* You like to come in out of the sun when the temperature gets above 72.

* You instinctively walk like a penguin for three months out of the year.

* Someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there.

* Your ...

a passive-agressive, egotistical jerk or bitch who can't drive.