A boy that confuses every girl he talks to. Wants to be a player but not enough girls like him. Was in a serious relationship but now just want to "get with you". Is definitely not bad looking, tall, light brown short hair, athletic, but unfortunately has a very small penis. A Mike could maybe be a player if he was well-endowed and acted less awkward. Gives the appearance of being of average intelligence but is actually quite smart, just not with his sense of humor. Tends to ruin jokes or say things that aren't funny.
Girl 1: "Mike told me he wanted to hook up with me last night... But I had to turn him down because I have already seen the unfortunate size of his penis."
Girl 2: "Really? He went out on a date last night with some other girl."
Girl 1: "Oh that's interesting. He is obviously trying to be a player after his breakup last month..."
A guy who wears navy blue Mock Turtle Neck sweaters from Abercrombie. Mike is a quick cummer and frequently gets caught masturbating in public by the police. Mike has a dirty car and has little girls panties on the front seat of his car.
Hey Mike, " Nice Mock Turtle Neck Fuck Face."
A person named Mike is a person people make fun of you for liking. If you like Mike you will get mocked by your peers. The girls who do like 'Mike' won't own up to it out of judgement from peers. This is a guy who is easily made fun of by the opposite sex due to his situation in life, his looks and his lack of luck.
I liked Mike until other females found out about it. They warned me I would be commiting 'Social Suicide' if I were to date a guy as unnatractive and unnacomplished as he is.
cock suckers who think there better than everyone because they are able to breathe. these dumb asses actually think that there worth something when in reality there is no difference between them and a piece of shit. they in return try to make themselves look all big and bad by yelling and causing a rucas when in reality theyre the most cowardly and pathetic people in the united states
a hairy beast with an 80's fro, kinda looks like a goon, loves spongebob and pig squealing music,likes girls with big tits, looks like the guy from juno when he sings in front of people, resides on the wet side, owns a dog who likes to hump girls with big asses. mike is the kind of guy that makes you scream "LITTLE PISSER!", and he will drink all of your orange juice so watch out!
"hey! who drank all of my orange juice??!"
"oh it was that mike kid!"
Mike is my best friend. With a fairly large dick and is a manwhore. Black, fershure. And yet, the coolest guy to be around.
"Whos that blackie over there?"
'Oh.. its just mike."
Mike Malone seems like the perfect, amazing, handsome guy that you are best friends with, but then he seems to decide that its okay to break your heart and ruin your friendship! Then you are never friends again and he hates you and tries to ruin your life.
You: MIKE JUST SAID WE AREN'T FRIENDS ANYMORE!!!!
Friend: Its okay hunny, he's just a mike.