-Glass Joe - The scrub of the game, you were an ape with no opposable thumbs if you didn't beat him.
-Von Kaiser (guy w/ mustach) - This guy looked mean, and he had that whole German bitch thing going on, but he's really a pushover.
-Piston Honda ("TKO from Tokyo")Wore the bandana
-Don Flamenco - Let's face it. We've all done it. You know what I'm talking about. The Flamenco Dance.
-King Hippo - you had to punch him in the belly button to defeat him
-Great Tiger - Hindu teleporting guy
-Bald Bull - "Doc can't help you now. Will you beg me for help?" Bald Bull was fucking strange. He looked like an ox, talked like a mental patient, and threw punches as if he was dancing to the tune of 'Old Susanna'. He was actually pretty tough to beat.
-Soda Popinski - Drinking Russian guy. I don't think I ever beat him, because I don't remember fighting...
-Super Macho Man
1980s guy:"No thanks, I am all the way to Mr. Sandman on Mike Tyson's Punchout and I can't stop now!"
2000 guy:"Save it on your memory card"
1980s guy:"What the fuck is a memory card?"