The midgets (duh) who are employed soley to help lazy
people masturbate. They are sometimes used by creepy
people who aren't lazy, just creepy, as in the song by Mindless Self Indulgence called I
Hate Jimmy Page.
Joe: "I'll show ya how Official Midgets jack me off....."
Dave: "Dude, what the fuck are you singing???"
Joe: "Huh? Oh, MSI's song."
Dave: "...if you sing that again, I'm going to
brain you."