A magazine that isn't pornographic enough to be top-shelf, but is still sold more or less with the single purpose of providing material for masturbation. Often contain women who believe themselves to be famous for something other than their breasts.
My girlfriend doesn't like me buying porn, so I just get the mid-shelf magazines and pretend it's for the gadget reviews.
Since Gemma Atkinson left Hollyoaks, her entire career has been posing for mid-shelf magazines.
Contrary to popular opinion, Top Shelf is actually a high-five maneuver, usually given as a command... Not to be confused with the low or mid versions of the "five"
Also synonymous with Fiver
"Dude, I can't believe your boinking that chick from behind while I'm pumpin her mouth, "Top Shelf dude!" *clap*
(this in turn creates the coveted H-Clap
(origin: teutonic, germanic) the process of: filling your belly with mid-shelf liquor and greasy food; allowing the concoction to ferment in your gastric fluids for more than twenty-four hours; mounting a bucket with the intent to defile; defiling the bucket; and violating your unsuspecting concubine by force-feeding him/her the muddle immediately after he/she accepts your nut in his/her person.
Ex. Right after the Honorable Aldonquin Calhoon got porked to be damned, I, much to his dismay, bestowed upon him the infamous Messy Grube. After, I reveled in his cough, gag, and immediate death.
Derived from the Swedish fictional children's character, an affliction that can occur in men at any when they have a difficult time wearing slacks off-the-shelf. While fitting these pant sizes, they find that a given waist size is too small, and subsequently move up to the next waist size, only to find that the length of the crotch approaches the mid-thigh length, or beyond. The trouser gives the appearance of an untailored look, and reveals an overly long front panel and extended crotch.
Lee: "Dude, new slacks"?
Lee: "Wow man, did you get those off the shelf? They don't fit! You're sporting the Pippi Longcrotching look."
Tom: "I know.... What you looking at anyway?"
Lee: "Hard not to notice, bro, sorry."
|5.||Big Muff Pi|
One of the greatest distortion/fuzz pedals ever conceived. Manufactured by either the American Electro-Harmonix company or the Russian Sovtek/New Sensor company, this box is revered for it's "wall of sound" capabilities and incredible sustain. The flavor of the distortion/fuzz can be tweaked from muddy and sludgy all the way to piercing and cutting. David Gilmour, Carlos Santana, Korn, Kurt Cobain, Billy Corgan, and Mudhoney are all famous users of the effect.more...
Over the years, both the Russian and American Big Muffs have gone through several design and sound changes. Currently, the American version being manufactured is modeled after the mid-70s/early-80s "NYC" model while the current Russian version is a new design in which the electronics are housed in a black box with Fender-style chickenhead knobs.
The earliest American Big Muff Pi which featured a triangular knob configuration and shiny metallic stomp box is the most expensive and sought after Muff, often going for upwards of $300 in good condition. After that, the "Ram's Head" Muff which featured the iconic Electro Harmonix ram's head crest prominently on the case commands the second most demand and attention. Originals of the "made in NYC" version are third, as they are more common than the other two by far. During the 1970s, Electro-Harmonix manufactured some one-off variations on the original Big Muff including the Little Big Muff and rare Big Muff Deluxe. Because of the oddball nature of these effec...
The Porsche 924 was originally designed for Volkswagon. They contracted Porsche in the late 60's to develop the 924, but were forced to cancel due to financial reasons. Porsche ended up buying the rights and the 924 was produced by Porsche AG of Germany from 1976 to 1988. 944S2 variants were produced until 1991 and the 968 varant was produced from 92-95.
The 924 was a two door, 2+2 seat sports car coupe. The 924 replaced the 914 as the company's entry level model, and was the model that finally retired the 912. It was the first Porsche model to be put into production powered by a water-cooled, front mounted engine, although the similarly configured 928 was designed before the 924. The front engine, rear drive arrangement was normal for most other manufacturers, but it was unusual for Porsche, who had previously only used mid or rear mounted engines of a boxer configuration, all of which had been air cooled. The 924 was a success, and not only helped to take Porsche out of financial ruin, it created the revenue stream needed to continue building and developing the 911. The 924 was replaced by the 944, but the two were produced together for some time.
Audi and Volkswagen parts can be found all over the car, showing that they were somewhat "cobbled" together with off-the-shelf technology. Probably an indicator of Porsche's instability at the time.
Guy_1: How do you like my Porsche?
Guy_2: What Porsche?
N. guy who is awsome; he tells jokes no one understands but you have to laugh at them; loves kitty cats and the Kitty Kat Dance song
Adj. durp dee durp durpa durp durptee durp tittily dittily dum
V. To wear hilarious shirts that normally relates to mustaches or family guy; to play final fantasy, eat ramen noodles
Other = political jokes are funny, knows famous people that no one has ever heard of
N. A short, stubby man who grew facial hair at a pre-mature age; has a sister who is unbelievably hot and sleeps in her nude on the couch when one has friends over (Im down with that)
N. Never gets in trouble at St Joes, but would subtly implement sexual references in questions he asks the teacher.
N. A long, dark haired adolescent who never sleeps but falls asleep while typing or playing video games.
N. a Rob Schneider impersonator
Kellen: So, John Hatheway walked into a bar and a hammer fell on himmore...
Friends: *cant help but laugh*
Kellen: I was soooo close! I WAS SO FUCKING CLOSE!
Guy: What Kellen? What happened!?
Kellen: My neighbor was SOOO CLOSE TO GETTING ME POT!
Cat...Im a kitty cat, and I dance dance dance, and I dance dance dance...!
Wow...what did he say? It was funny, his name must be Kellen
Me:"Guns dont kill people...people with mustaches do!"
Kellen: Erick...my shirt just made you admit that you kill people...
Kellen: Im so close to beating this dungeo-...oh! Noodles are done!
Kellen: So, John Kerry went into a bar after his botox job and the bartender says "Hey John, why the long chin?"
Little Johny: Mommy, some new kid at school has a mustache...why? We're only in the 3rd grade?
Mommy: well, Johnny, we dont go around point out people's premature tholical stimuli, so we will just call him Kellen
Johnny: Ok mommy, thanks!
So, I was spending the night at Kellens house and it was around 2:00 am. I needed a drink so I went upstairs to get some water; I was trying to be quiet because his sister was sleeping on the couch, little did I know...she was wearing nothing. So, I hear a stirring behind me...I turn around and...well...just use your imagination
The subject was not to have sex before marriage; Kellen's response "I love cheese cake and all, but not when it has been sitting on the shelf for 30 or so years"
Hey, Kellen, look whos in first place, I AM!....