| 13. | microsoft | ||||
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Software company that produces the Windows series of operating systems. Founded by Bill Gates and Paul Allen, and generally considered responsible for modern computing.
People like to knock their near-monopolistic control of the OS market but in truth, while at times unpleasant, its almost a necessity for widespread computing due to the way OS's work, and how software has to communicate with the OS. Those of you who dabbled with computing in the early '90s when many different computers/OS's on the market instead of just one know what I'm talking about; trying to find a particular piece of software compatible with your particular setup could be hell, and trying to code the stuff was even worse. Having a good compiler helped of course, but it had to be kept up to date on all the latest OS builds and/or you had to do all sorts of manual tweakage with the compiled code, neither of which was a particularly pleasant experience. Aside from Windows, MS has released a number of things like DirectX to make programmers' lives easier. All in all they help more than they hurt. An operating system is like the lines on the road, if everyone's not using the same one bad shit starts happening.
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| 1. | microsoft | ||||
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Organisation bent on world domination masquerading as a software company.
See also Bill Gates; Windows Fucking shit Microsoft programs
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| 2. | microsoft | ||||
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See World Domination
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| 3. | Microsoft | ||||
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A large terrorist organisation, hell bent on producing software that crashes and works slowly. Some of their more evil tactics over the years include waiting until just before you click the save button to make the screen go all blue for no reason, but more subtle tactics include waiting until you start to work, then annoying you with a sodding paper clip. Josh: "I'll just get on with some work..."
Microsoft Paperclip: "Hello!" Josh: *I'll just ignore him, and he'll go away*.... *starts to type* Microsoft Paperclip: "Do you want to write a letter?" Josh: "No." Microsoft Paperclip: "Okay, do you need some help with that?" Josh: "NO! NO! NO I DONT FUCKING WANT SOME HELP! PISS OFF!!" *clicks on hide, paperclip dissapears*...*begins to work...* ... 2 minutes pass ... Microsoft Paperclip: "Hello!" |
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| 4. | Microsoft | ||||
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An obvius copy of Macrohard, which Bill Gates stole the disk of while I was sleeping. He also copied my program Doors, and renamed it Windows. Me: *sleeping*
Bill Gates: I'll just take this disk... *yoink* Me: You, come back here right now, or I will personally come all the way over there and call Ronald F***ing McDonald to kick you in the nuts! Bill Gates: hehehe *escapes* I'll just change the name to Microsoft, and this program to Windows, and no one will ever know!!!! WAHAHAHA!!!! Me: Cheap B******! |
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| 5. | microsoft | ||||
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A company most famous for its satirical "operating system," Windows. A sort of play-on-code from genuine operating systems, Windows amuses millions with its cartoonishly-dated gui (graphical user interface), Gerald Ford-esque clumsiness (whoops! I froze again! *laugh track*), hyper-zealous licensing scheme, and utter lack of usability. For these reasons and many others Windows popularity remains very high. And why shouldn't spyware be able to install itself on my computer?!
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| 6. | microsoft | ||||
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The bane of civilization Damn all other systems to hell for not being able to overtake Windows as the dominant OS on the market.
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| 7. | Microsoft | ||||
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An inferior product that is out to rule the world. Microsoft's plans for building a death star device was shut down by officepax.
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