1. Cares a lot about his appearance.
2. Has more pairs of shoes than his girlfriend.
3. Is not gay, but some may come to the conclusion that he is gay.
4. Watches Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, or even 'the straight guy' was on that show.
5. Is Vanity Smurf.
Brainy: Vanity, you're so fruity. You must be homosexual!
Vanity: No, I'm not!
Smurfette: I agree with Brainy. You're so girly, sometimes I wanna smurf up my breakfast!
Vanity: No! I'm not gay!
Jokey: Then what are you?
Grouchy: I HATE METROSEXUALS!
1. You just can't walk past a Banana Republic store without making a purchase.
2. You own 20 pairs of shoes, half a dozen pairs of sunglasses, just as many watches and you carry a man-purse.
3. You see a stylist instead of a barber, because barbers don't do highlights.
4. You can make her lamb shanks and risotto for dinner and Eggs Benedict for breakfast... all from scratch.
5. You only wear Calvin Klein boxer-briefs.
6. You shave more than just your face. You also exfoliate and moisturize.
7. You would never, ever own a pickup truck.
8. You can't imagine a day without hair styling products.
9. You'd rather drink wine than beer... but you'll find out what estate and vintage first.
10. Despite being flattered (even proud) that gay guys hit on you, you still find the thought of actually getting intimate with another man truly repulsive.
Person 2: "No, he does dress well, but he has a wife"
Person 1: "Oh, he must be metro then"