At a Medium Pace

A fucked up, but very funny song by Adam Sandler from his 1993 album They're All Gonna Laugh at You!.

Lyrics:

Put your arms around me baby
Can't you see I need you so
Hold me close against your skin
I'm about to begin
Lovin' you

Spit on your hand and stroke my cock
At a medium pace
Play with my balls and tell me
How big they are
Honey, rub your beaver
Up and down my face
Sit on the corner of the bed
And watch me whack off

You see that shampoo bottle
Now stick it up my ass
Push it in and out
At a medium pace
Talk about your old boyfriend's dick
And how big it was
Now shave off my pubes
And punch me in the face
Whoa darlin'
Make me push my dick and balls
Back between my legs
Call me an ugly woman
And take my picture to show
All the people you work with

Now pull up my scrotum
And take the shampoo bottle
Out of my ass
Pretend I'm the pizza delivery guy
And watch me whack off

Strap on a dildo
And make me give you head
Tell me to slow down
And do it at a medium pace
I feel so humiliated
I'm about to blow my load
You tell me it's time to make love
But now I can't
'Cause I spewed all over myself
Then you look into my eyes
And you realize
How much I enjoy lovin' you
I'm so sorry I spunked on my stomach
Maybe next time I'll be better at lovin' you

Now spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace.

At a Medium Pace by ShakeSicle March 7, 2009

Get merch

Get the At a Medium Pace mug.

See more merch

Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace

The start of the second verse of "At A Medium Pace" by Adam Sandler

Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace
Play with my balls and tell me how big they are
Honey rub your beaver up and down my face
Sit on the corner of the bed and watch me whack off

You see that shampoo bottle
Now stick it up my ass
Push it in and out at a medium pace
Talk about your old boyfriend's dick and how big it was
Now shave off my pubs and punch me in the face

Oh darling, make me push my dick and balls
Back between my legs
Call me an ugly woman and take my picture
To show all the people you work with

Now pull up my scrotum
And take that shampoo bottle out of my ass
Pretend I'm the pizza delivery guy
And watch me whack off
Strap on a dildo and make me give you head
Tell me slow down and do it at a medium pace

Oh, I feel so humiliated
I'm about to blow my load
You tell it's time to make love
But now I can't 'cause I spewed all over myself
Then you look into my eyes, then you realize
How much I enjoy loving you
I'm so sorry I spunked on my stomach
Maybe next time I'll be better at loving you

Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace by Wicked Uncle Ernie November 15, 2022

Get merch

Medium Paced Ralph

When you go jerk off on the toilet then quickly turn around and cum in the toilet at school.

Guy 1: "I did a Medium Paced Ralph yesterday."
Guy 2: "What the hell?"

Medium Paced Ralph by Dog Ross June 7, 2023

Get merch

How bout dem knicks?

A phrase referring twoard the New York Knicks.
Its usually said to break an unplesent moment of silence.

Guy 1: I think I may be gay.
Guy 2: ...
Guy 1: ...
Guy 2: How bout dem knicks?

How bout dem knicks? by Flame060 March 28, 2005

Word of the Day on June 8, 2026

Get merch

Power Couple

A relationship between two people who are equally as cool as each other. They are as individually awesome and fun to be around as they are when they are together.

Neither one depends on the other for their feelings of self worth- they know in their heart that they are just as valuable to the world as the other. Good looking, optimistic, and sparks a light in the world that people recognize that goes beyond a normal relationship.

In a power couple, if one person is flawed, the other person makes up for their weaknesses in strength. Together they are the epitome of what anyone would desire in a relationship. They encourage goodness in the world and make it a better place by being together.

I'm a fan of those two, they are such a power couple, the epitome of what anyone would want in a relationship.

I am envious of them because they are a power couple.

Power Couple by Pina28 May 23, 2012

Word of the Day on June 7, 2026

Get merch

Shitdar

Spidey sense for evading poop on the street, canine or otherwise.

When walking in NYC or LA, you need shitdar.

Shitdar by Sickomonster June 3, 2026

Word of the Day on June 6, 2026

Get merch

Shackteâu

A Shackteau is a humble, weather-beaten, structurally questionable shelter located in a spectacular or highly coveted place—Wales, Jackson Hole, Sun Valley, Crested Butte, coastal Maine, the Alps—where the building itself may be worth almost nothing, but the dirt, view, access, and mythology make it absurdly valuable.
In use:

Shackteâu - We thought it was an abandoned shed until the realtor called it a rare alpine Shackteâu with unobstructed views and listed it for $2 million.

Shackteâu by ez-dog June 4, 2026

Word of the Day on June 5, 2026

Get merch