You are surrounded by fat bastards, boredom, drugs, no women, and no source of entertainment. And worst all, Aunt Susan's cat giving birth to 3 kittens makes the front page.
2. Fatass Redneck: So what are you doing tonight Buba Smith? Other drunk redneck: I don't know... let's go up to leroys barn and play with his chainsaws and fuck a couple cows up at west point.