measuring tape game 

n. In order to play the measuring tape game all you need is a self retracting tape measure.

While seated in a chair or on the floor, you extend the tape vertically or horizontally as far as you can until it buckles under its own weight. Whoever extends it the farthest, wins.

The game is typically played while doing some sort of construction work.

Son: "Yes! I got 96 inches!"
Dad: "What the? Stop messing around. You have grout to lay."
Son: "Sure, dad, soon. I'm playing the measuring tape game."

measuring tape game by eastcoastpaperboy September 5, 2010

measuring tape in her purse 

A woman who only goes out with guys with big dicks thus the measuring tape. She measures a guys equipment and if it is not of a certain length she says "next."

You do not want to go out with her if she carries measuring tape in her purse.

measuring tape in her purse by hollywood doc September 18, 2006

Measuring tape

A name you use to call people that never gives up. Just like a measuring tape, that person always pulls back to where they got to and thrive.

“That person never gives up! He must be a measuring tape”

Measuring tape by Handlerock September 22, 2019

Measuring Stick 

A stick that measures. Generally used by teachers who are poor and cannot afford another means of pointing at retarded lesson plans that no one is paying attention to.

Why is that teacher stroking that measuring stick?

Measuring Stick by ceige April 5, 2006

measuring rod 

Einstein was known for his thought experiments with measuring rods when explaining relativity.

1 - A tool used to physically measure lengths and survey areas of various sizes.
2 - Einstein's dick.

"The rigid measuring rod is thus shorter when in motion than when at rest, and the more quickly it is moving, the shorter is the rod."

"And how big is your new TV Herr Einstein?
About 4 and half measuring rods."

measuring rod by FriendlyHacker July 27, 2015

Measuring my big toe 

t is a secretive way of saying masturbating aka. fapping, beating the meat, fapulishus.
It is comonly used by a group of men when a rare female is present, to not scare the rear specimen away.
Even though it might be little weird or suspicious it is clearly more safe and unnoticeable way of allerting your fellow dudes to not disturb or help you cover up.
When you use it in a sentence you will most likely bend it, in the usage they only bend the "measuring"; i measured, we are measuring, they measured, i am going to measure.

"Ey bro i gotta go and measure my big toe, be right back."
"Keep Stacy entertained i have to measuring my big toe."
"Ey Jackson i just spotted Ben and Charles, looks like they are measuring their big toes"

Measuring my big toe by CleverViking March 3, 2017

Measuring Toddler 

The unit of measurement used to establish if there are enough beans provided at an all you can eat / unlimited breakfast. There should be enough beans to drown a toddler.

The Measuring toddler can also be used to measure other liquids, such as tea.

Do you think the kitchen has been a bit Jewish with the beans? Let me fetch the measuring toddler and we will find out.

Measuring Toddler by Supertato May 6, 2018