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to pleasure ones self
when i got home on friday, i was thinking of edward cullen and his cold, wet things. Then i got really wet, needing something to get me over this, i slipped into bed, took off my underwear, and hoisted my legs up into the air, starting the masturbation process.

Then i rubbed my pussy, wondering how long i could tantalize myself before i would explode, then i started rubbing with two fingers, getting hornier. i slipped one finger in, but that wasn't enough. I slipped another in, then another. FInally i started the fingering, and then i rubbed my breasts, and started moving my fingers up and down instead of in and out. I could feel my breasts shaking as i was pleasuring myself. I cringed, my toes spreading, my back curling up. I went harder and faster, then slowing down, waiting a while, then i shook harder and faster and exploded into vaginal throbbing. My heart was racing and my breasts were tingiling, and my toes were uncurling. OH YES YES YES
by edwardisthesexistmanalive December 08, 2008
570 259
The act of touching oneself to produce a favorable feeling in the groin area. Usually accompanied by some sort of mental, visual, or audio stimulation to assist in reaching climax.

jerking off; spit-shining the old water pump; waxing the brass candlestick; beating off; playing cards with only one hand on the table; riding the quarter-horse; joining the mile-high club, solo-aviator division; giving in to the hand police; self-actualization; fully realizing your potential
No honey, I don't want to tonight, I'm tired from watching Oprah. Why don't you just go masturbate?

That dumb broad got me all worked up and left me; so I had to spit-shine the old water pump manually if ya know what I mean.

Sometimes, when I wake up, I have an erection, so I have to beat off until it goes away. Sometimes, it comes back so I beat off again until it goes away. Once, it kept coming back so I just chopped it off. It hurt bad.
by jeffro February 25, 2003
8899 2804
Mass murder of millions of tiny defenseless sperm.
If hitler was into masturbation instead of murder all the millions of deaths would not upset the world.
by Michael............... March 23, 2006
8121 2902
The act of sexualy pleasing oneself, usually to orgasm.
Masturbation is the best exercise I get all day!
by Nick November 10, 2002
4837 1995
Manual stimulation of the penis of vagina to produce a stimulation simular to actual penetration by a member of the opposite sex.

It's something most of us have been caught doing, never admit to doing, and know full well that everyone else does.
Woody Allen: "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone that I love."
by fetusboy September 16, 2005
3619 1817
"Practise sex"
If masturbation were a sport, I'd be a jock.
by LORD HELL FEAR BLOOD March 16, 2003
3494 1736
something guys cannot get out of habbit.
Time for my daily jerk!
3216 1593
Playing solo on one's organs.
by anonymous March 09, 2003
2837 1424