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8. masturbating
The act of being busy but still not really having anything to do.
"Hi, you busy?" "Yeah" "What are you doing?" "Masturbating" "Wanna go catch a movie instead?" "Sure"
9. chicken masturbating
Chickens playing with themselves in an innappropriet manner at a chicken motel 6 or behind a hay stack
Wow! I was walking down the street and then i saw a chicken masturbating.
10. masturbating
To pleasure ones self with petroleum jelly heated from a microwave. 30 seconds no more no less.
After D-love takes his lubricating oil from the microwave he begins masturbating with the door open and then places the spent paper towell in a bag hung on his door knob.
11. boregasm
When you get so bored you just start masturbating out of sheer despair.
I was bored last night I started masturbating for something to do, though boregasms are not as satisfying as sex...
12. pulling handles
An excuse you can use if anyone catches you in the act of beating off because the art of "pulling handles" in ceramics looks like the male form of masturbating.
Professor: Hey Dan, what are you doing over there in the corner?

Dan: Oh...um...nothing...just pulling handles!

Professor: Ok, good...I thought you were masturbating.
13. throwing it overhand
Throwing it overhand is a masturbating grip where the thumb is closest to the base and the palm of the hand is on top. This grip was derived from a common way to throw dice.
I got so bored of the normal grip I decided it was time to start throwing it over hand, and i have never been back.

If masturbating grips were sex positions: The normal one to throwing it overhand is like missionary to doggy style.

Once you go overhand you never go back.
14. Driving to Massachusetts
Another word for masturbating.

The word originated from a simple misunderstanding. The word masturbation was confused with "Driving to Massachusetts."

The phrase "Driving to Massachusetts" hasn't been taken seriously since.
10 year old child: "Dad, whats he doing?"

Dad: "He's masturbating."

10 year old child: "What? Driving to Massachusetts?"

Dad: "Yes."
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