What you do while lying in bed.
While listening to the radio, a song gave me a boner, so I began to masturbate.
by Cum grenade August 18, 2010
To cuff the duke!!! this is for the hardcore masturbaters. this is modern slang. It means to really rub out a good one A good place to cuff the duke is in a roomates bed while he is out pleasuring his lady friend. cuffing the duke is great when done alone or with mulitple partners. I recommend cuffing out many dukes today.
I am going to cuff the duke(masturbate hardcore), do not disturb!
by Erik S April 16, 2006
Something that Jesus watches you do. Especially when you are stuck in a porta-john and an angry tranny is banging on the door shouting "GO FASTER!"
As Bob stared at the midgets having sex on his computer monitor, he pulled out his pecker and masturbated. As he was in the middle of wankin' one out, he noticed it was dark outside and noticed a bluish light flash outside his window and heard a huge thunder. Suddenly, LIGHTNING STRUCK HIS HOUSE AND EVERYONE DIED!

And on that fine day, Jesus said the two words in a booming voice that humanity will forever cherish, "Don't masturbate."
by MrCat January 24, 2015
What you probably just got done doing
After I masturbate I surf the web so that if people who suspected me to be masturbating walk in, they will think I was surfing the Internet the whole time.
by Awaress December 14, 2008
the act of sticking your finger in your p**sy and moving it around to sexualy please yourself.
sam" Whatd ya do last night?"
Pam" i had to masturbate yself just cause it feels to good"
by masturbategrl July 19, 2008
To jerk off, to jack off, to whack off, to beat off, to crank on out, to thrash, to choke the (Chinese) chicken, to pinch the one-eyed snake, to slap the salami, to spank the dolphin, to flog the dolphin, to pull the pork, to polish one's gun, to shine the silver, to beat the bishop, to smack little johnny behind his German helmet and purple bulbous ear, to do the five knuckle shuffle, to make love with oneself, to beat around the bush, to flick the sausage, to punch the purple ninja, to juice the snake, to peel the banana, to milk the cow, to squeeze the purple-headed yogurt-slinger, to slap the monkey, to tame the dragon, to play pocket pool, to go bowling by oneself, to hit a homerun in the homefield, and yet, to strike out, to whittle the woodblock, to shimmy up and down the pole of love, to initiate the Saturn V, to turn on the sprinklers, to turn on one's love hose, to punch the clown in the nose, to tweek the deek, to hit the dick, to tallywhack, to soil the Kleenex, to smother the hanky, and I'm sure I'm forgetting a few.
Most guys should know what I'm talking about.
by Master Chesco April 19, 2004
Scratch your itch, diddle the skittle, wanking
"Wut r ur plans for tonite rhonda?"
"No plans. Prolly gonna sit at home n' masturbate."
by GypsieGurl7892 March 23, 2014

Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from daily@urbandictionary.com. We'll never spam you.

×