71
Something that Jesus watches you do. Especially when you are stuck in a porta-john and an angry tranny is banging on the door shouting "GO FASTER!"
As Bob stared at the midgets having sex on his computer monitor, he pulled out his pecker and masturbated. As he was in the middle of wankin' one out, he noticed it was dark outside and noticed a bluish light flash outside his window and heard a huge thunder. Suddenly, LIGHTNING STRUCK HIS HOUSE AND EVERYONE DIED!

And on that fine day, Jesus said the two words in a booming voice that humanity will forever cherish, "Don't masturbate."
by MrCat January 24, 2015
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72
Frederick woke up with a boner so he went in the bathroom and waxed his turtle.

He really needed to blow his load so he shaved the carrot in the shower.

"It means masturbate if you haven't got that ar tard!"
by PeckMcGee August 20, 2008
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73
verb.
1.to perform a form of pleasure to ones self.
2.to perform a form of pleasure onto someone.
i need to masturbate im to horny to talk.
by deek22 April 22, 2006
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74
to stroke your penis till it becomes a fountain of white liquid at the same time moaning like after a maraton
I stroke my hard cock till i cum all over my bed

when the door open my dad caught me masturbating
by Calvin April 05, 2005
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75
to masturbate is when a girl touches her front bottom and clitoris until its wet or a boy touches his willy until its wet and masturbation is done for fun because some people want to do sex but cant or they just feel like it and the wet stuff that comes out can make a white patch in your pants or knickers and people do not normally touch their private parts in public
oh and im touching my front bottom and oo yeah im tickling my clitoris ohh yeah mmmm all the wet stuffs coming out its all over my fingers ooooo mmm im fingering my front bottom

oh and ive got my willy and im touching it all over and the we t stuff is coming out ooo mmm and it feels goood ohh yeah when i masturbate i get really excited
by vaginal fluid November 11, 2006
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76
the act of sticking your finger in your p**sy and moving it around to sexualy please yourself.
sam" Whatd ya do last night?"
Pam" i had to masturbate yself just cause it feels to good"
by masturbategrl July 19, 2008
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77
Something done to one's body to relieve horniness. When a woman's pussy becomes wet, she will massage her clitoris and other surrounding pubic areas. Also, she may slide a finger/fingers/toy/small object into her pussy to imitate a penis. Men's dicks will become hard when they are horny, so they resort to rubbing their penis up and down causing stimulating friction. These physical interactions are also sometimes accompanied by audio or visual stimulation.
I came home feeling really horny after reading definition #7 of Horny on Urban Dictionary. I went into my bathroom and grabbed my tube of lube and a Q-tip. I carried these things into my room where I slid off my skirt and panties and flopped onto my bed with a sigh. I spread my thighs open and coated the Q-tip with lube. I then started gently rubbing around my clit with the Q-tip. I shuddered and smiled. As I rubbed, I got closer and closer to my clit and started moaning. Then i reached my hand up my blouse and started rubbing and grabbing my nipples. I continued to grope my boobs as I got even closer to my clit. Then, I hit it. I shuddered and squealed with delight. I rubbed diagonally across my clit which drove me nuts. Then I threw down the Q-tip and dug my fingers toward my clit. I started massaging it with one finger, then two, then my whole hand. I arched my back and screamed with pleasure. Then, I slipped my middle finger into my pussy, while still massaging my clit. I pulled it in and out. Then I hit my g-spot. I cummed everywhere. I got up, still rubbing my clit, and got my vibrator, then sprawled back onto the bed. 10 minutes later, I was asleep with my fingers on my clitoris and my vibrator in my pussy. I love to masturbate.
by SomeRandomUDUser July 18, 2016
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