This is what I do when I see something that excites me and there are no males around. I go find a comfortable sitting and relax. I take my pants and undies off then spread my thighs. I start rubbing the inside of my thigh to get me warmed up. I am already a little wet by now. Then I lick my two fingers and slowly and softly run them across my clit. aahh this feels so good. I'm moaning in anticipation because I know what is about to come. I then lick my fingers again and start at my clit, slowing guiding them into my hole. I make a soft back and forth motion, then as hard as I can shove my fingers as far back as they can go. i moan. I continue doing this a few times and then pull them out. ahh. I am dripping wet at this time. I make a circular motion around my clit and glide acrossed it. I am just teasing myself at this time. I shove my fingers down in there again and quickly go back and forth and around and I do this over and over. I continue moaning louder and louder making weirder and more exciting noises only to turn me on more. I am at the best part now. I pull my fingers out suck them to get all the juices off and then put them in there for one last time. I am working at a fast rate now. Flicking my clit with one hand and jamming my fingers in with the other hand. ahhh. I want to cum so bad I continue my motions. I start breathing harder and moaning louder. I squeeze my titties. I finally cum. I moan as I cum. I rub the juices all over my body and lick those fingers enjoying every last drop. oh man that was amazing.
Jessica- "Hey Jane do you want to masturbate with me today?"

Jane- "Yea! Only if you help me out though."

Jessica- "Of course. I enjoy helping you out."

Jane- "=). If only guys weren't so dumb."

by Jessica22233 April 19, 2009
Top Definition
All the slang words for masturbation: bashing the candle, Bleeding the weasel, bleedin the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin'the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker, yanking the crank.
Vote for the clit commander. and may the clit live on
by The clit commander April 10, 2003
What you do when there is nothing to do.
When I woke up in the middle of the night, I took off my clothes and started to masturbate.
by KawaiiAnime November 02, 2003
1.) What you do when your girlfriend is not at home.

2.) The reason why people buy playboys.

3.) The reason why old people are having more heart attacks.

4.) The reason why birth-rate decreased by 60% in the last 20 years.

5.) What 30% of the world population is doing now.
The old man had several heart attacks due to his recent masturbations. He had too much excitement
by Jake April 22, 2005
To sexually exite yourself until you reach a climax. With males it involves using their hand to 'jack off', that is holding their dicks and moving their hand back and forth. Females usually use their fingers to rub around and enter the vaginal area.
"His girlfriend was miles away and he was very loyal so whenever he got horny he masturbated to satiate his thirst for sexual activity"
by Little Blue Patakha January 15, 2003
To sexually pleasure oneself to orgasm. Usually better than sex, because, not only do you know what you want better than a partner, there's no risk of STD or pregnancy! Everyone does it, though most people don't like to admit to it.
Betty: I masturbate, what's wrong with it?

Jane: Ew! You mean you touch yourself?

Betty: Yes... it good?
by LuffySP June 28, 2005
the process of pleasing yourself sexually.
the old man masturbated until he died.
by the meat man November 01, 2002
to increase the surface temperature of your ship's main cannon with rapid linear motion
I masturbated and sunk your battleship
by tae April 26, 2003
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