look up any word, like jamflex:
 
17.
1) SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement. (v.) The act of sexually pleasing yourself to orgasm. For males this involves using the hands to massage the penis in a thrusting motion, while for females this involves rubbing and stimulation of the vaginal and clittoral areas. This is often accompanied by some sort of sexually pleasing visual and/or mental stimulation.

2) (n.) Something a true Catholic cannot do because the wrath of the imaginary friend will come down upon them. See god.

I was so horny I bought a Playboy and masturbated.
by fraghappy November 06, 2003
 
1.
All the slang words for masturbation: bashing the candle, Bleeding the weasel, bleedin the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin'the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker, yanking the crank.
Vote for the clit commander. and may the clit live on
by The clit commander April 10, 2003
 
2.
What you do when there is nothing to do.
When I woke up in the middle of the night, I took off my clothes and started to masturbate.
by KawaiiAnime November 02, 2003
 
3.
1.) What you do when your girlfriend is not at home.

2.) The reason why people buy playboys.

3.) The reason why old people are having more heart attacks.

4.) The reason why birth-rate decreased by 60% in the last 20 years.

5.) What 30% of the world population is doing now.
The old man had several heart attacks due to his recent masturbations. He had too much excitement
by Jake April 22, 2005
 
4.
To sexually exite yourself until you reach a climax. With males it involves using their hand to 'jack off', that is holding their dicks and moving their hand back and forth. Females usually use their fingers to rub around and enter the vaginal area.
"His girlfriend was miles away and he was very loyal so whenever he got horny he masturbated to satiate his thirst for sexual activity"
by Little Blue Patakha January 15, 2003
 
5.
To sexually pleasure oneself to orgasm. Usually better than sex, because, not only do you know what you want better than a partner, there's no risk of STD or pregnancy! Everyone does it, though most people don't like to admit to it.
Betty: I masturbate, what's wrong with it?

Jane: Ew! You mean you touch yourself?

Betty: Yes...

Jane:...is it good?
by LuffySP June 28, 2005
 
6.
the process of pleasing yourself sexually.
the old man masturbated until he died.
by the meat man November 01, 2002
 
7.
to increase the surface temperature of your ship's main cannon with rapid linear motion
I masturbated and sunk your battleship
by tae April 26, 2003