to rub yourself untill you have an orgasm (the point where you feel so good you feel like you died and were reborn as a god)98% of people do it and the rest who dont are so old they cant feel it anymore or hav a desease so they cant feel it.also funny that if you dont know some1 that also does it you will never hear that they do it. i have friends that do it and i do it too and im sure that i got a friend to do it by looking at porn while he was over lol.for best results have your select favorite kind of porn and lube(u no hav to buy try certan gel soaps/shampoos lol sum are better than expencive comercial lube) also night is great to cover up along wit shower lol(the only reson guys dont masturbate together is bcause they dont know how their dicks compare ::truth)and the myth about masturbation making your dik smaller :fake: along with the gay thing parents tell you to make you stop with the blindness lol obviously fake.after your first cumming you will never spend more than a week without it again
person 1)ew you masturbate(trying to act surprised)
person 2)ya who doesnt?
person 1)what kinda porn u like?(whispering)
person 2)wide variety.
person 1)u got a good site i got 3 viruses so far?
person 2)ya (i was gonna rite a good 1 but that would count as advertising lol)!
by I es unknown February 07, 2008
I once heard the late George Carlin at a live performance reel off hundreds of witty slang synonyms for masturbation, but his final entry, and the punchline for his entire performance, was,

"Crowning the King."

I thought it was the funniest.
Queen Elizabeth II: Prince Andrew! Prince Andrew! How much longer are you going to be in there?

Prince Andrew: Just a little while longer, Grand Mum.

Queen Elizabeth II: Prince Andrew! You are not endevouring to masturbate in there, are you?

Prince Andrew: Of course not, Grand Mum--I'm Crowning the King!
by Dr. Whosis December 20, 2009
What to do whenever you aren't in school or at work. Actually, you can do it there too, but be subtle.

I masturbated while I wrote this definition for urban dictionary.
by IM JERKING OFF RITE NOW April 04, 2009
What your 12 year old Son or Daughter starts doing once their showers go from 5 minutes to 45 minutes in length.
Don't be fooled by the 45 minutes of "washing my hair" make sure everyone in your household takes a poop before you masturbate
by itakelongshowers May 05, 2010
A form of sexual pleasure that people perform when they can't get enough sex. Some people do it several times a day. Others do it weekly or maybe even monthly.
Man, I can't get enough sex, I think I'll go masturbate.
Dude, I'm bored, I'm gonna go masturbate.
by J_man May 19, 2008
1. Masturbate for male: When a postpubecent male reveals his dick, it gets hard because he is horny and he starts to move his hand(s) up and down on it until he cums. Also know as jerking off or jacking off

2. Masturbate for female: When a woman puts her fingers or an object into her pussy and goes in and out until she has an orgasm. Also known as fingering

3. A way of sexually pleasuring oneself.
1. guy 1: I jacked off last night to your girlfriend's picture
guy 2: dude, thats sick

2. girl: I masturbated last night thinking about you.
guy: thats hot
by AndyMac754 October 27, 2007
What you do while lying in bed.
While listening to the radio, a song gave me a boner, so I began to masturbate.
by Cummy worm August 18, 2010
1. A long forgotten Karate teacher.

2. Self manipulation of the genitals in order to simulate sexual pleasure
Who the fuck would even consider going elite in the martial arts world if their surname is bate?

Wow, all the fun of sex anywhere, anytime. Might as well masturbate in class, I'm bored.
by SlangMangg August 30, 2009
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