Last night, I lay my head upon my pillow,
But stayed up late, to masturbate.
Last night, I lay myself upon my bed, but
I stayed awake, for pleasure's sake.
You should see me working on the short strokes,
It's really grand, I use my hand;
You should see me working on the long strokes,
It's really neat, I use my feet.
Smash it! Bash it! Pound it on the floor!
Smite it! Bite it! Ram it through the door!
Oh, it's so neat to beat your meat while sitting on the toilet seat,
2.) The reason why people buy playboys.
3.) The reason why old people are having more heart attacks.
4.) The reason why birth-rate decreased by 60% in the last 20 years.
5.) What 30% of the world population is doing now.
Jane: Ew! You mean you touch yourself?
Jane:...is it good?