look up any word, like cunt:
 
3.
1.) What you do when your girlfriend is not at home.

2.) The reason why people buy playboys.

3.) The reason why old people are having more heart attacks.

4.) The reason why birth-rate decreased by 60% in the last 20 years.

5.) What 30% of the world population is doing now.
The old man had several heart attacks due to his recent masturbations. He had too much excitement
by Jake April 22, 2005
 
43.
In the Perks of Being a Wallflower, Charlie describes it quite clearly.

"Do you know what 'masturbation' is? I think you probably do because you are older then me. But just in case, I will tell you. Masturbation is when you rub your genitals until you have an orgasm. Wow!"
see? it tells you how to masturbate.
 
44.
All the slang words for masturbation: bashing the candle, Beat the meat, Bleeding the weasel, bleedin the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin'the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker, yanking the crank.
Vote for the clit commander. and the clit will live on
by The clit commander March 12, 2005
 
45.
To play with oneself, usually until orgasm is reached
Man 1: You masturbate that much. It's not even that great

Man 2: Don't hate the bate, it's sex with someone I love
by That man with the thing March 30, 2010
 
46.
Freeing ur tadpoles;Rubbing your dick until it hardens to the core and a white subtance called SPERM also known as cum oozes out and in some cases it leaks out.
Joe:my science teacher told me that sperms look like tadpoles
Jim:So?
Joe:I thought of not being cruel to them.So once i reached home,i freed them :-)
Jim:Actually that's wat i do during my free time,I masturbate.
Joe:Oh,ok...
by Siddiq March 28, 2008
 
47.
something every girl had done at some point
i love to masturbate with my glow-in-the-dark vibrator
by lsafkj` November 04, 2006
 
48.
I once heard the late George Carlin at a live performance reel off hundreds of witty slang synonyms for masturbation, but his final entry, and the punchline for his entire performance, was,

"Crowning the King."

I thought it was the funniest.
Queen Elizabeth II: Prince Andrew! Prince Andrew! How much longer are you going to be in there?

Prince Andrew: Just a little while longer, Grand Mum.

Queen Elizabeth II: Prince Andrew! You are not endevouring to masturbate in there, are you?

Prince Andrew: Of course not, Grand Mum--I'm Crowning the King!
by Dr. Whosis December 20, 2009
 
49.
The act of pleasuring oneself sexually. It happens most in males who are unable to quell their sexual desire at any given time.
Joe watched as Lexi walked to the front of the room, her perfect ass shaking back and forth with every step. He felt his penis stiffen. Looking down he saw the bulge in his pants.

Lexi turned and faced the class making her double d cups jiggle. This only perpetuated Joe's hard on. He tried to push it down with his hands but this only made him harder. His penis pushed up against his hands and broke through his flies.

Suddenly Joe looked up and saw that Lexi had her eyes on him. Joe's rod kept growing and he began to shiver.

Lexi began to dance, slowly shaking her hips. As Joe began to drool, Lexi reached down and unbuttoned her pants. In one motion she pulled them down, revealing a pink thong.

Joe's breathing increased as his penis rubbed against the top off his. Lexi pulled her shirt over her head and threw it towards Joe's feet. She was wearing a matching bra. As her eyes focused back on Joe her huge boobs jiggled.

Joe couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed his exposed penis and began to masturbate. He began to moan as he felt his load building up.

By now the entire class had taken notice and gathered around his desk, but Joe couldn't stop. With a few more rubs he ejaculated, spraying shot after shot of hot sperm.

As Joe opened his eyes he saw Lexi, fully clothed, standing in front of him with her hand covering her mouth. She was staring at his penis.

Suddenly he realized he had imagined the entire thing. Frantically he ran to the door and headed for the bathroom.
by Ero69 May 05, 2012