36
Here's more: Again, to grease the rod, to squash the bug, to shake hands with your penis, to squeeze the eclair, to fuck oneself, to awaken the slumbering giant, to flick the dick, to practice ju-dick-su, to train oneself in kung-penis, to play one's oboe, to rob the sperm bank, as well as take out a loan from one's sperm bank, to make your elephant laugh so hard that he squirts milk through his trunk, to shoot the shit, to cockadoodledoo, to make your worm sneeze, to visit the fountain of youth, to take a trip to Mexico with only one pair of underwear, to spray the butter, to spray the Cool-Whip, to get your "smack" on, to pump the hydrant, to evacuate one's testicles, to question the Mauve Avenger, to do the math, to calculate pi, to pleasure oneself manually, to practice stick-shift, to open the stairway to heaven, to save the whale, to squirt the mayonnaise, to attempt to reach orgasm in solitude (although not always), to climb/hike up pleasure mountain,to slap the Puerto Rican, to pour the salad dressing, to give an angel its wing, to kill a mockingbird. And there are still more to come (pun intended)!
by Master Chesco April 21, 2004
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37
Act people commit when browsing Urban Dictionary
All these definitions make me want to masturbate
by 32121 July 22, 2016
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38
When you're horny enough, what you do when you're too chicken or virginal to grab a partner to do it with you. Can be simple or complex; depending on how horny or depraved you are.

Guys: stroke their penis.
Girls: rub their clitoris in a circular motion, or stick various objects inside themselves.

Guys usually find masturbation through friends, whereas girls tend to find it on their own.
Guy: Ahhh. Playboy.
Girl: Ahhh. Porn and cyber sex.

Guy: Oooh... oooh... wow, those boobs are HUGE... (mentally: Damn, why can't I get a girl? Oh well, I'll masturbate) whoa... (slips hands into pants)... yeah... yeah... (strokes himself)...holy shit, she's hot... whoa... (comes) Ahhh. Satisfaction.
Girl: Wait, she does what? (aroused) He sticks his... oh... (fantasizes about opening door and grabbing boy next door but knows she is only a virgin... Sex can wait, masturbate!)... he flips up her skirt... sucks on her breast...ahh... (slips one hand under blouse, other inside underwear)...omigosh, he's eating her out...(strokes her clitoris in a slow circular motion)... Wow! Wow! (picks up speed) Omigosh, this is so hot! (moans) Oh... (screams expletives in ecstasy)... ahh...ah...(explodes in pleasure) Ahhh. (sticks finder inside for good measure, then pulls it out and smiles in bliss)
by una chica fantastica January 04, 2006
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39
To play with your penis and jack off because you don't have any bitches to have sex with. In some religions masturbating is a sin and God will be pissed off you if you masturbate.
Guy 1:Dude I caught our friend doing something with himself on his bed.
Guy 2: Yeah, he has no bitches so he needs to masturbate sometimes to get pee out of his erect boner.
Guy 1: Man, I feel sorry for him.
by AdomC February 08, 2015
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40
When one stimulates the genetilia. For guys, it involves taking their hands and gently rubbing up and down on their cock and they seem to get harder and harder and start rubbing faster until he cums all over the place, he also will get VERY horny and have an orgasim. For girls, it involves sticking one, two, three, four. or how ever many fingers or a foreign object in their vagina hole; often called "sticky fingers" becasue your fingers do tend to get sticky, but its pleasurable. You tend to do it while having cyber sex or looking at dicks.... it gets you very horny and you reach a HUGE orgasim.
I can't come down for dinner right now, I'm too busy masturbating and it feels SO good!
by ANYONE could! February 15, 2005
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41
erotic stimulation especially of one's own genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these agencies
From Latin word masturbatus
"I like to masturbate when i cant get laid"
by Tucker April 20, 2004
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42
To rub your penis until reaching the climax of sexual exitement, in which you ejaculate.
by visible erection May 25, 2005
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The vengeful act of crapping on a lover's chest while they sleep.

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