1.) What you do when your girlfriend is not at home.
2.) The reason why people buy playboys.
3.) The reason why old people are having more heart attacks.
4.) The reason why birth-rate decreased by 60% in the last 20 years.
5.) What 30% of the world population is doing now.
The old man had several heart attacks due to his recent masturbations. He had too much excitement
to sexually pleasure one's self.
first read the example of sex (#4) or something else, like porn, to make you horny. Next, lick at least two of your fingers, the more there are the better it feels, and stick them in your pussy, rub them around and make sure that you are wet. Once you are wet, use those fingers to rub your pussy in a circular motion, I prefer hard and fast. If you have an electric toothbrush, use the vibrating bristles to rub your clit. Keep rubbing until you orgasm. Trust me you will be glad you did.
Pull up and down on the shaft of your penis as hard as you like, rub it until you cum and orgasm.
To sexually pleasure ones self. Masturbate
Oh my god I'm so bored, I may as well masturbate (oh damn I already am)!
Here's more: Again, to grease the rod, to squash the bug, to shake hands with your penis, to squeeze the eclair, to fuck oneself, to awaken the slumbering giant, to flick the dick, to practice ju-dick-su, to train oneself in kung-penis, to play one's oboe, to rob the sperm bank, as well as take out a loan from one's sperm bank, to make your elephant laugh so hard that he squirts milk through his trunk, to shoot the shit, to cockadoodledoo, to make your worm sneeze, to visit the fountain of youth, to take a trip to Mexico with only one pair of underwear, to spray the butter, to spray the Cool-Whip, to get your "smack" on, to pump the hydrant, to evacuate one's testicles, to question the Mauve Avenger, to do the math, to calculate pi, to pleasure oneself manually, to practice stick-shift, to open the stairway to heaven, to save the whale, to squirt the mayonnaise, to attempt to reach orgasm in solitude (although not always), to climb/hike up pleasure mountain,to slap the Puerto Rican, to pour the salad dressing, to give an angel its wing, to kill a mockingbird. And there are still more to come (pun intended)!
To jack one's beanstalk.
Or, to choke one's chicken.
I enjoy choking my chicken.
The best thing you can do when you're alone
I masturbated 'till I couldn't breath... it was awesome!
For guys only; If you want a really good orgasm quickly, then go into the bathroom, sit on the toilet, and cover the shaft of your penis with toilet paper. Move the toilet paper up and down, while pressing hard on your penis. The orgasm leaves you breathless, and I shot sperm about a foot and a half. FEELS GOOD.
Damn, I used to toilet paper to masturbate, and I think I was in heavon-on-earth.
To touch oneself until an orgasm is reached.
Males grab their cock and stroke.
Females finger themselves, or use a dildo, or vibrator, or a hot dog...
We all do it, don't deny it.
Bob had to masturbate all the time because he was too creepy to get laid.
Jane would rather masturbate, because she can't risk getting a bun in her oven. Although, she's had her eye on Bob for a while...