15
This is what I do when I see something that excites me and there are no males around. I go find a comfortable sitting and relax. I take my pants and undies off then spread my thighs. I start rubbing the inside of my thigh to get me warmed up. I am already a little wet by now. Then I lick my two fingers and slowly and softly run them across my clit. aahh this feels so good. I'm moaning in anticipation because I know what is about to come. I then lick my fingers again and start at my clit, slowing guiding them into my hole. I make a soft back and forth motion, then as hard as I can shove my fingers as far back as they can go. i moan. I continue doing this a few times and then pull them out. ahh. I am dripping wet at this time. I make a circular motion around my clit and glide acrossed it. I am just teasing myself at this time. I shove my fingers down in there again and quickly go back and forth and around and I do this over and over. I continue moaning louder and louder making weirder and more exciting noises only to turn me on more. I am at the best part now. I pull my fingers out suck them to get all the juices off and then put them in there for one last time. I am working at a fast rate now. Flicking my clit with one hand and jamming my fingers in with the other hand. ahhh. I want to cum so bad I continue my motions. I start breathing harder and moaning louder. I squeeze my titties. I finally cum. I moan as I cum. I rub the juices all over my body and lick those fingers enjoying every last drop. oh man that was amazing.
Jessica- "Hey Jane do you want to masturbate with me today?"

Jane- "Yea! Only if you help me out though."

Jessica- "Of course. I enjoy helping you out."

Jane- "=). If only guys weren't so dumb."

by Jessica22233 April 19, 2009
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16
When A person play's with there privates to pleasure there sexual needs
Kiersten : Oh Jake why don't you caress my boobs!
Jake : Do you really want me to stick my hands in your shirt right here at work?
Kiersten : YES!
Jake : Ok!!!
Kiersten : Oh Jake! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Kiersten : Now Suck Them!!!
Jake : MMMMMM!
Chad : Wow Jake watching you suck Kiersten's beautiful breast makes me wanna Masturbate!
Kiersten : Uh Jake you need to stop there's a perve watching us!
by SlopNChop June 30, 2017
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17
to wank off

Last night, I lay my head upon my pillow,
But stayed up late, to masturbate.
Last night, I lay myself upon my bed, but
I stayed awake, for pleasure's sake.
You should see me working on the short strokes,
It's really grand, I use my hand;
You should see me working on the long strokes,
It's really neat, I use my feet.
Smash it! Bash it! Pound it on the floor!
Smite it! Bite it! Ram it through the door!
Oh, it's so neat to beat your meat while sitting on the toilet seat,
I got horny so I took off my clothes and masturbated.
by attack of the pussies February 05, 2006
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18
When a male or a female pleasures themselves by touching their genitals as to make them feel like they have just had sex. Everyone does it...don't be embarassed. Wondering how, here you go:
Guys: Make sure no one is watching unless you aren't afraid someone will walk in on you. You can either get naked, just take your pants off or just shove your hand(s) down your pants. Grab your penis, grabbing it whatever way feels comfortable or would make you think you feel more stimulated. Slowly move up and down or side to side or in a circular motion. Progress faster and faster until you cum. And then keep doing it.

Girls: Unless you don't care if someone sees you, make sure no one is around. Take of your bottoms and undies. Grab yourself, moving up and down. Rub you clit. If you want to, slam your fingers into your pussy. Stop a little before you cum. Wait a few minutes, then repeat. It makes the experience A LOT more stimulating.

PLEASE READ: If this made you honry, please go and masturbate! That's what this was for!
by mmyeah September 06, 2011
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19
What you probably just got done doing
After I masturbate I surf the web so that if people who suspected me to be masturbating walk in, they will think I was surfing the Internet the whole time.
by Awaress December 14, 2008
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20
1) SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement. (v.) The act of sexually pleasing yourself to orgasm. For males this involves using the hands to massage the penis in a thrusting motion, while for females this involves rubbing and stimulation of the vaginal and clittoral areas. This is often accompanied by some sort of sexually pleasing visual and/or mental stimulation.

2) (n.) Something a true Catholic cannot do because the wrath of the imaginary friend will come down upon them. See wordgod/word.

I was so horny I bought a Playboy and masturbated.
by fraghappy November 06, 2003
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21
One of the sexiest things that a man can possibly do.
Hot damn...there isn't much else I can say.
by raspberry (lust) muffin July 10, 2005
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