1.) What you do when your girlfriend is not at home.

2.) The reason why people buy playboys.

3.) The reason why old people are having more heart attacks.

4.) The reason why birth-rate decreased by 60% in the last 20 years.

5.) What 30% of the world population is doing now.
The old man had several heart attacks due to his recent masturbations. He had too much excitement
by Jake April 22, 2005
MEN: to slowly (or quickly) rub your penis until white stuff appears. Feels really good.

WOMEN: to rub your vagina or clitoris.
You can use dildos and vibrators, too.
Takes longer than men
Do it in private, please!
by wakalakalover45 March 28, 2005
When you're horny enough, what you do when you're too chicken or virginal to grab a partner to do it with you. Can be simple or complex; depending on how horny or depraved you are.

Guys: stroke their penis.
Girls: rub their clitoris in a circular motion, or stick various objects inside themselves.

Guys usually find masturbation through friends, whereas girls tend to find it on their own.
Guy: Ahhh. Playboy.
Girl: Ahhh. Porn and cyber sex.

Guy: Oooh... oooh... wow, those boobs are HUGE... (mentally: Damn, why can't I get a girl? Oh well, I'll masturbate) whoa... (slips hands into pants)... yeah... yeah... (strokes himself)...holy shit, she's hot... whoa... (comes) Ahhh. Satisfaction.
Girl: Wait, she does what? (aroused) He sticks his... oh... (fantasizes about opening door and grabbing boy next door but knows she is only a virgin... Sex can wait, masturbate!)... he flips up her skirt... sucks on her breast...ahh... (slips one hand under blouse, other inside underwear)...omigosh, he's eating her out...(strokes her clitoris in a slow circular motion)... Wow! Wow! (picks up speed) Omigosh, this is so hot! (moans) Oh... (screams expletives in ecstasy)... ahh...ah...(explodes in pleasure) Ahhh. (sticks finder inside for good measure, then pulls it out and smiles in bliss)
by una chica fantastica January 04, 2006
chances are, you probably already know what masturbate means, and you're just looking it up to find out how to make yourself feel better. so, if you are a guy, wrap your fingers and thumb around your penis, and move it up and down. another way is to wrap your hand around your penis with one hand, while creating a "lip" shape with the other. usually this is done by putting your index and thumb finger together. now, the "lip" hand is on top of the penis, while the other hand is underneath. now, slide your hands up and down.

for girls, start by putting your finger (usually index or middle) half-way into your vagina. then move it around in circles. this will get your blood pumping. then, go further in, and start moving your finger in and out of your vagina. now, add a 2nd or 3rd finger, and thrust them into your vagina. when they are inside, jerk your fingers up and down, rather than in and out.

you can also fold a pillow in half, and hump away. it feels better if you put a can, or something hard in the pillow. you can also try this. put your heel under your ass, and into where you vagina is. rub away.
oh i love to masturbate when no one is home.
by i have lots of fun February 09, 2008
Something Everybody does I mean EVERYBODY!!! (except people with cameras in every room, but the fund a way around it)
I masturbate every night!
It's Too FUN!!
by Masturbate is good! July 18, 2005
What guys do all the time and girls never admit to doing.
Guy: Come on, everyone does it. Don't be ashamed to admit you masturbate.
Girl: Ew gross, I would never touch myself.
by Peopleplz June 07, 2009
This is what I do when I see something that excites me and there are no males around. I go find a comfortable sitting and relax. I take my pants and undies off then spread my thighs. I start rubbing the inside of my thigh to get me warmed up. I am already a little wet by now. Then I lick my two fingers and slowly and softly run them across my clit. aahh this feels so good. I'm moaning in anticipation because I know what is about to come. I then lick my fingers again and start at my clit, slowing guiding them into my hole. I make a soft back and forth motion, then as hard as I can shove my fingers as far back as they can go. i moan. I continue doing this a few times and then pull them out. ahh. I am dripping wet at this time. I make a circular motion around my clit and glide acrossed it. I am just teasing myself at this time. I shove my fingers down in there again and quickly go back and forth and around and I do this over and over. I continue moaning louder and louder making weirder and more exciting noises only to turn me on more. I am at the best part now. I pull my fingers out suck them to get all the juices off and then put them in there for one last time. I am working at a fast rate now. Flicking my clit with one hand and jamming my fingers in with the other hand. ahhh. I want to cum so bad I continue my motions. I start breathing harder and moaning louder. I squeeze my titties. I finally cum. I moan as I cum. I rub the juices all over my body and lick those fingers enjoying every last drop. oh man that was amazing.
Jessica- "Hey Jane do you want to masturbate with me today?"

Jane- "Yea! Only if you help me out though."

Jessica- "Of course. I enjoy helping you out."

Jane- "=). If only guys weren't so dumb."

by Jessica22233 April 19, 2009
When a man or woman, uses a body part to allow themselves sexual pleasure.

Masturbation often results in a mess of genital fluids. These fluids can be used in many ways such as glue, fertilization, or even for a sweet taste.

To masturbate in a male would be to grap your penis and rub it up and down in a continuous motion.

To masturbate in a female would be to either rub you vagina up and down with a few fingers or to stick a long straight peice of plastic in the shape of a penis(a dildo) in the vagina and pull up and down.
Sex can wait...Masturbate!

If it hurts...stop
by The Constipator March 08, 2005
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