1.) What you do when your girlfriend is not at home.

2.) The reason why people buy playboys.

3.) The reason why old people are having more heart attacks.

4.) The reason why birth-rate decreased by 60% in the last 20 years.

5.) What 30% of the world population is doing now.
The old man had several heart attacks due to his recent masturbations. He had too much excitement
by Jake April 22, 2005
when a man slowly and while getting quicker rubs his penis up and down when he is horny until he ejaculates. results in extreme satisfaction.
last night i walked in on my brother masturbating. it made me horny so i stole his playboy, took off all my clothes, and started to masturbate in my room.
by AlwaysBord April 09, 2007
*some of the* slang words for masturbation: bashing the candle, Bleeding the weasel, bleedin the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin'the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker, yanking the crank, and waxing your carrot.
Now... Banning fantasizing about your neighbors wife? Well what else is a man supposed to think about while he's waxing his carrotmasturbate?
-Source: George Carlin
by Aazn January 24, 2006
Put some mayonaise on the knuckle sandwich, shake hands with uncle dick
I was putting some mayonaise on my knuckle sandwich when my mom walked in
by Humpty August 17, 2003
To rub or do something to your own private parts for sexual pleasure.
You want to masturbate? It isn't a good idea for your sexual health.
by coolquack7 November 11, 2014
The act of stroking a cock or fingering a pussy until a sperm whale shoots out of either one also known as a climax or orgasm
oh ohhhh oooh OH OH SHIT! AWW YAH OH OH *sperms* ahhhhh i love to masturbate
by jonny boy4444444 September 11, 2011
its a proven fact that if girls masturbate more then 4 times a week the chances of getting cancer goes down 1/4
wow my chances go down 1/4..im gonna go masturbate
by siemens47 February 28, 2007
verb.
1.to perform a form of pleasure to ones self.
2.to perform a form of pleasure onto someone.
i need to masturbate im to horny to talk.
by deek22 April 22, 2006

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