look up any word, like sex:
 
3.
1.) What you do when your girlfriend is not at home.

2.) The reason why people buy playboys.

3.) The reason why old people are having more heart attacks.

4.) The reason why birth-rate decreased by 60% in the last 20 years.

5.) What 30% of the world population is doing now.
The old man had several heart attacks due to his recent masturbations. He had too much excitement
by Jake April 22, 2005
 
64.
The act of stroking a cock or fingering a pussy until a sperm whale shoots out of either one also known as a climax or orgasm
oh ohhhh oooh OH OH SHIT! AWW YAH OH OH *sperms* ahhhhh i love to masturbate
by jonny boy4444444 September 11, 2011
 
65.
Waxing the Turtle or shaving the carrot.
Frederick woke up with a boner so he went in the bathroom and waxed his turtle.

He really needed to blow his load so he shaved the carrot in the shower.

"It means masturbate if you haven't got that ar tard!"
by PeckMcGee August 20, 2008
 
66.
Put some mayonaise on the knuckle sandwich, shake hands with uncle dick
I was putting some mayonaise on my knuckle sandwich when my mom walked in
by Humpty August 17, 2003
 
67.
its a proven fact that if girls masturbate more then 4 times a week the chances of getting cancer goes down 1/4
wow my chances go down 1/4..im gonna go masturbate
by siemens47 February 28, 2007
 
68.
verb.
1.to perform a form of pleasure to ones self.
2.to perform a form of pleasure onto someone.
i need to masturbate im to horny to talk.
by deek22 April 22, 2006
 
69.
to pleasure oneself; to extract semen manually
Today Johnny wanted to masturbate, but was worried that his mother would catch him and tell him that he would go blind.
by Skeet Masta May 08, 2006
 
70.
verb. screwing someone you love.
I love to masturbate
by thegeneral069 April 07, 2011