Top definition
What guys do all the time and girls never admit to doing.
Guy: Come on, everyone does it. Don't be ashamed to admit you masturbate.
Girl: Ew gross, I would never touch myself.
by Peopleplz June 07, 2009
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All the slang words for masturbation: bashing the candle, Bleeding the weasel, bleedin the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin'the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker, yanking the crank.
Vote for the clit commander. and may the clit live on
by The clit commander April 10, 2003
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To jerk off, to jack off, to whack off, to beat off, to crank on out, to thrash, to choke the (Chinese) chicken, to pinch the one-eyed snake, to slap the salami, to spank the dolphin, to flog the dolphin, to pull the pork, to polish one's gun, to shine the silver, to beat the bishop, to smack little johnny behind his German helmet and purple bulbous ear, to do the five knuckle shuffle, to make love with oneself, to beat around the bush, to flick the sausage, to punch the purple ninja, to juice the snake, to peel the banana, to milk the cow, to squeeze the purple-headed yogurt-slinger, to slap the monkey, to tame the dragon, to play pocket pool, to go bowling by oneself, to hit a homerun in the homefield, and yet, to strike out, to whittle the woodblock, to shimmy up and down the pole of love, to initiate the Saturn V, to turn on the sprinklers, to turn on one's love hose, to punch the clown in the nose, to tweek the deek, to hit the dick, to tallywhack, to soil the Kleenex, to smother the hanky, and I'm sure I'm forgetting a few.
Most guys should know what I'm talking about.
by Master Chesco April 19, 2004
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What you do when there is nothing to do.
When I woke up in the middle of the night, I took off my clothes and started to masturbate.
by KawaiiAnime November 02, 2003
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To have sexual intercourse alone. Males usually look at porn while doing this. Take 1 hand put it on the shaft of the penis. rub it up and down until it gets at its full potential. slowly increase your speed until you cant stop. it feels so good and no worries about pregnancy im pretty sure everyone does it sometime during every day.(i know i do)after beating it for a minute or a few you will reach the climax and ejaculate all over. the more you do it the farther you will shoot :D then your penis head becomes very sensative after you shot. Then you quickly turn off your porn, put your clothes back on and act like nothing happened. girls on the other hand take more time to do this. they mostly do it when they are away from people for a long enough time. You sit down usually on a comfortable chair or couch and then u stick your middle finger inside your vagina. Or you can take a few fingers and rub the clitoris (most sensative spot) some girls like to get ready for men in their life or just dont want to risk anything so they use a dildo(a plastic penis)Girls can either bend over and give anal masturbation which feels good or stick it the vagina slowly and deep. the girl will have an orgasm and if goes long enough will also jizz (lots more)girls after masturbation feel worn out and will most likely relax for a few minutes maybe rubbing boobs or clit very slowly.
A:I was masturbating beforee i went to bed last night.
B:Me too.
A:Yeah, Who dosn't.

A:I masturbate every time i get 20 minutes alone.
B:I do it with my sister watching.

A:Girl)Yesterday I masturbated for 40 minutes and i stained my couch
B:Boy)Yeah, i was watching through your window.

A:Girl)Wanna come over tonight and masturbate with me?
B:Girl)Yeah, ill bring my dildo.

A:Girl)Aww Yea! Aawwww awww! yea ! ye!
B:Girl)OH yeah u like that? U want it deeper
A:Girl Aww awww!! (orgasm)
by ibeatoff3timesaday November 25, 2006
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When a man or woman, uses a body part to allow themselves sexual pleasure.

Masturbation often results in a mess of genital fluids. These fluids can be used in many ways such as glue, fertilization, or even for a sweet taste.

To masturbate in a male would be to grap your penis and rub it up and down in a continuous motion.

To masturbate in a female would be to either rub you vagina up and down with a few fingers or to stick a long straight peice of plastic in the shape of a penis(a dildo) in the vagina and pull up and down.
Sex can wait...Masturbate!

If it hurts...stop
by The Constipator March 08, 2005
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Something Everybody does I mean EVERYBODY!!! (except people with cameras in every room, but the fund a way around it)
I masturbate every night!
It's Too FUN!!
by Masturbate is good! July 18, 2005
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