why wouldnt you masticate in front of my mom

I'd like to masticate the heads off of all the people who make bad submissions to this site.

"Do you masticate with your wenis on the table?"

Person A: "I hate that people who masticate!"
Person B: "Dude, you don't ... you know."
Person A: "Seriously, look it up. It's not what you think."
Person B: "Than what do you call --"
Person A: "Nevermind!"

"Cows masticate their food."
"I told him to masticate for me, but that dumb ass went and jacked off!"

"Dude, I got this food magazine with free samples, wanna masticate?"
"Dude, you're sick in the head."
"Dude, what you don't like eating?"
"Dude, I thought you said masta-"
"Dude, yeah yeah, you'll never change."

"My brother masticates when he eats."
-me