36
1) Something that can be both heaven and hell.

2) The end of hourly or daily sex.

3) Most extreme form of torture to a guy who constantly gets laid.

4) The end of life and fun.
1) Husband, "Honey, can we have sex". Wife, "Should have thought of that before we got married, No".

2) I gave up my days of having a new woman every day for the never ending hell of having the same one forever.

3) Kids, just say no to marriage.
by Mr. MD January 22, 2007
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37
Find a woman you really dislike, then buy her a house.
Marriage - a relationship between married people or the period for which it lasts.
by bronco2121 July 19, 2009
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38
an outdated custom in the world today, that is fully supported by an archiac concept known as religion.

For some reason more and more today men seem to be the one's putting unbelievable pressure upon themselves to get married, when the actual outcome of the act itself has little to no benefit to men. Its basically agreeing to become a woman's new father, so her real father can finally say "Congratulations!" (translation: now she's your problem!). The stigma being its better to be in a marriage (even if you and your wife havent had sex in years, resent each other, and have kids that are a mess) then to be a single, middle aged man.

This definition has yet to take into account "divorce", which deserves a definition all its own, but since marriage leads to divorce needs to be mentioned with it.
George: Wow, so Steve got married huh?

Bill: Yeh, marriage after dating her for 4 months! You should hear him go on about it.

George: Go on about what?! He now gets to enjoy sex with the same person all the time. Thats like me bragging about the banana I have for breakfast every morning and how it gets better and better.

Bill: Hey I hear ya, I didnt understand it either. Good luck to him.

George: I mean if you rushed into it, I'd understand that, any woman willing to marry your gremlin ass you gotta run with, but Steve.....

Bill: You got me there, but that still doesnt explain what the hell I was thinking in banging your sister, least I pulled out and got her in the face for good measure.

George: I hear ya, like when you go outta town and I go to your gf's, its like a shooting gallery, and she's got a target right on her face.

Bill: Fuck you and your whore sister.

George: Not as much as I fuck your gf, bitch.

*Bill and George start kissing*
by Fatty Fat Face December 18, 2012
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39
A date that got out of hands.
by El Burlador de Sevilla July 23, 2009
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40
intended to depict the relationship between Christ and the church. A love shown through caring about and serving each other even when one party (or both) does not deserve it.
Marriage should be as it is written:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body.

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5: 25-33
by onlyngrace May 10, 2009
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41
1. A government contract, currently between a man and a woman, which creates a legal entity with legal rights bestowed upon it, as well as a government recognized tax status.

2. A contract that cannot be entered into legally without a government authorized license - See also Driver, Dog, Business, Liquor, Concealed Weapon, To Kill, etc.

3. A recognized legal status that may help a person become a citizen, assuming they can correctly tell an agent of the government what their wife wears to bed and if she hogs the covers or not.

4. The leading cause of divorce. (a precursor to divorce)(the first step to acquiring a divorce)

5. The result of Marrying.

6. Something begun with a license and a ceremony, and generally disolved with lawyers and judge, or by death.

7. A romantic notion of never-ending love. See also Fairy Tale

8. A ceremony that will have every detail planned, and way too much money spent, that will then transition into a possibly lifelong period that is given less advanced thought and/or financial planning.
Their marriage was begun in a church and ended in a court.

Their marriage ensured that they would be taxed at a lower rate than being single, but not as low as an LLC, LP, or Corp, which, unlike marriage, can only be entered into for legitimate purposes.

Their marriage was in question with the Department of Immigration and Naturalization Services, as he didn't seem to be the type of person an American girl would want to marry.
by GMoney2009 July 31, 2009
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42
"creating perpetual debt all in the name of ancient tradition and a bogus unrealistic institution"
Spending tons of money on a marriage party
by trebills December 06, 2009
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