by Ecliptic November 22, 2003
For many, the phase of a relationship in which delight turns to disappointment and romance turns to resentment. Then she turns to her girlfriends and he turns to drink. Presently they turn on each other. He turns to a mistress, she to a divorce lawyer. Their home turns into hers but their mortgage turns into his. The sons turn into junkies, the daughters into teenage moms. And that's the bright side, because in many cases that's as close to a turn-on as marriage gets. Unless you're very, very, VERRRRY careful, and willing to wait and wait and WAAAAIIIIIIT for a truly exceptional person to enter your life, AND for real love between you to grow. A marriage founded on that rock-solid basis still has only a 50/50 chance of success (i.e. boredom) or failure (i.e. the tragedy described above), because marriage often changes people, leaving you shackled to a stranger. Yet that's as good as life's going to get, kid. Suddenly the Navy doesn't sound so bad, does it?
by Stranded in Paradise February 6, 2008
Marriage is that wonderful time in the lives of two people where they demonstrate their love and devotion to each other. After the ceremony, the new couple will go somewhere nice to bang. Then it all goes to Jahannam. First wifey will quit work to watch Lifetime (one of many Feminazi channels). Then she will slip up and spill the truth about why she was a virgin going to the honeymoon destination and wasn't when they first fucked. Then it will come to light that she was under a mountain of debt from Payday loan(sharks) and keep bitching until he gets a second, or third, job. Then he'll have to get out some payday loans to pay her payday loans or even less sex for him. Then, while he's working all the time, she'll be banging the mailman, her boyfriend, the cable guy, the internet guy, and any other guy but her hubby. This hell goes on for about two years. Then comes the blissful stage known as divorce. This is the time the truth comes out (the shit hit the fan when they left for their honeymoon) and she bitches about how she "had" to fuck everyone but her dearest husband since he abused and neglected her, working when he should have been home. After that torment, comes the alimony stage. So in the end, he's got 25% of his paycheck, none of the account (she got to it first), and just enough for a shack downtown and a tranny hooker (all the real girls were her best friends and probably coworkers). Meanwhile lil' wifey will have two new husbands and countless fuck buddies. Have fun.
In short, marriage is the worst ass fucking possible.
Usually.
(p.s. This actually happened to my dad)
Usually.
(p.s. This actually happened to my dad)
by WTF Mate? May 15, 2007
I was married for 11 months exactly! That marriage was nothing but a major interruption to finding true love!
by talk2me-JCH2 February 6, 2022
Marriage gave her all of the power and me all of the responsibility. If I spoke out against this, I was a rapist or a murderer. I guess I am forced to stay married or go to jail and lose my house and kids.
by jethro January 4, 2006
Justine and I usta make like rabbits all the time. Now after marrying her I'm lucky to get laid one or two times a week.
by Amos Bwatt September 16, 2004