For any pimply, pasty nerd thats too chickenshit to go get the mail outside because the deadly solar rays reflected by the moon will burn their skin like dried straw, they look to the Great Overlord Maddox as their guidance.
According to the teachings of the Great Maddox:
1. All computer nerds love Tabasco Sauce, because subjecting your tastebuds to a food condiment that'll singe the fuck out of your tastebuds is the best way to prove that your too fucking macho for your less macho peers. The testosterone increase from the burning pain will give you the balls you need to log back on IRC chat and give your online opponents a sound verbal thrashing, perhaps causing your nerdy rival to shoot himself in front of his webcam.
2. All computer nerds must routinely beat their women to reaffirm that they are the head of the house, and her main man. Doesn't really apply though, because computer nerds will remain virgins forever.
3. All computer nerds do what they want and feel. If a nerd does not want to go outside to Gold's Gym to do some bench presses or run on the treadmill, they don't have to! If a nerd doesn't want to lose weight, and just keep packing on some more weight from hot pockets, Pocky brand wood sticks, and root beer, he doesn't have to!
Or you can just perceive Maddox's Best Page In The Universe as very clever satire of common misconceptions of manliness and machoism.
Maddox basically states that "men":
1. Are always insecure about their sexuality, and hates fags because of that.
2. Do stupid thinks to make people think they're really "men".
3. Engage in random acts of violence from testosterone poisoning.
4. Own an entire harem of expendable wives.
"Littering kicks ass."
"I will kick your ass for $25."
"I think I just totally got dragon kicked to the face after reading that article" - Everyone else
He has a large fan base, which contrary to popular belief, isn't just a load of 12-18 year olds, and don't all type in 1337 spk.
The majority of those who protest against his work are dull, or unintelligent:
-The dull usually moan about facts being twisted, or the articles being full of bias. IF YOU WANT FACTS READ A NEWSPAPER!! Maddox's articles are for humour only.
-The unintelligent label him as a "greasy nerd" or "fag", despite him being neither. They sometimes say that Maddox can't get laid, which is pretty ridiculous considering he has a HOT girlfriend.
The mothers against maddox movement fall into both these categories. They really need to grow the hell up and get their priorities sorted.
Guy2: "Maddox, I visited your site expecting serious unbiased articles. I'm really dissapointed. I shan't be returning, and I shall express my dissapointment on other internet sites. I suck ass."
Mother against Maddox: "I like to campaign against internet sites while my kids are out smoking pot and having underage sex. I don't have a clue how to be a good parent, so I campaign against things that aren't really going to affect my child."
2)Maddox- The essential equivalent to Che Guevera, except in Pirate form.
"Maddox had to pay for some birth prevention pills for my bitchy neighbors because I zapped them in the crotch with a stun gun too many times."
"Oh, that's just Maddox, off to liberate Bolivia from shitfaced fuckers who can't type."
At first he liked it, but then he started to cry. So then i did what i always do when babies cry: i put him in the garbage.
heh maddox is a funny guy