Masturdebate

1. (verb): the process of masturbating before making an executive decision in regards to one's love life. This noteworthy event takes place in hopes to think in a clear state-of-mind about a situation--before putting one's self-respect at high-risk; clearing the mind; avoiding "grenades"; avoiding desperate times for desperate measures.

Friend #1: Hey buddy, what are you up to?

Friend #2: Just texting the girl I met from the party last week. She wants me to go over to her place tonight, and have a few drinks with her.

Friend #1: Dude you know she is a train wreck. You had your beer goggles on, or are you really just that desperate? You might want to go masturdebate on it for awhile, before you do something you might regret.

Friend #2: Yeah you're probably right.
(a few minutes later)

Friend #2: Oh man! I can't believe I was actually going to go over there. What the fuck was I thinking?! Good call. Let's go get a beer or something.

Masturdebate by Cbunt801 December 16, 2011

Masturdating

Going out alone. I.e. seeing a movie by yourself, going to a restaurant alone.

Dude I saw No Country for Old Men twice by myself. I'm addicted to chronic masturdating

Masturdating by Mikeparsh September 25, 2010

Masturdebatis 

When you can’t keep your eyes away from half the girls on your debate team during the tournament but see them after the weekend and feel no attraction to them whatsoever

I’ve got some real masturdebatis after that tournament man, she used to seem so hot!

Masturdebatis by Cars 3 was garbage March 12, 2019

mactard 

Mactards are people who fall prey to Apple's advertisements, failing to see they are the victims of ploys to get them to pay for a logo rather than superior products.

You might be a mactard if...

1.) You bought a Mac to be different, just like everyone else buying a Mac.

2.) You believe the half truths of Apple's advertisements.

3.) You believe some one else who believes the half truths of Apple's advertisements.

4.) You think the iPad is a "magical and revolutionary" device when in fact such devices have been around for years.

5.) You think the price of an iPad is unbelievable because it is low rather than ridiculously high.

6.) If you think clicking the right mouse is hard, but using esoteric key combinations to get the same behaviors out of a one button mouse is some how easier.

7.) You prefer form over function, bought a Mac and got neither.

8.) You switched to a Mac because you thought Windows was proprietary...

9.) You feel penalized because most apps won't run on your Mac after you bought a Mac with full knowledge that most apps won't run on a Mac.

10.) You insist on using Safari because it is "secure", in spite of the fact it has been shown to be the most insecure browser on a Mac. (Apple is learning from Microsoft on how to make in house browsers...)

and one to grow on:

11.) You have to think of a way to justify any of the aforementioned ways to know you are a mactard.

mactard by recovering mactard March 23, 2011

Masturdate 

To take oneself out when one has no date

I couldn't find anyone to go out with me, so I decided to masturdate. I took myself out for dinner and a movie.

Masturdate by MicklePickle January 4, 2015

Maturdal pride 

Being incredibly proud and protective of one's turd. Usually a keepable sized brown trout. Sometimes it's necessary to pixt it to a close male friend or relative.

Why is there a huge fucking shit in the toilet?

It's Barrett's. He too full of maturdal pride to flush it yet.

Maturdal pride by The Righteous Huntster Co. October 10, 2010