When God sends people to the human beings to the North East of England, he sorts them into two groups, Geordies and Mackems, or sane and insane, or straight and gay, good-football-supporters and shite-football-supporters, etc.
What do you call one mackem on the moon?
What do you call two mackems on the moon?
A bigger problem.
What do you call all the mackems in the world on the moon?
n. A demi-god worshipped by ancient civilisations as the epitome of wit and sexual prowess. Romans and Vikings colonised the area in the hope of developing a race of supermen to help them in their ambitions. The word is based on a blend of Roman and Norse, and means "astonishingly well-endowed, funny and attractive angel on a temporary visit from Valhalla."
Not to be confused with Geordie who were the unfortunate result of a Roman experiment in which Scotsmen had intercourse with pigs. These unfortunate troll-like humanoids can be identified by the fact they have to wear clothes covered in a large barcode so they can be tracked and controlled by security satellites.
My goodness, that John Holmes is almost as well-hung as a Mackem.
A mackem is a person from Sunderland and some of the surrounding areas (peterlee for example).
Unfortunatly, the mackems have had the bad luck of being placed next to the geordies who are incredibly arrogant and are obsessed with Sunderland.
All the mackems find it pathetic that the Geordies hate them so much and the Mackems don't really give a shit. It's kind of like England and Scotland, you see?
MACKEM: I'm off to work, i'll be back about half five ok ?
GEORDIE: Am off ta la dole, ta collect me dosh, areet? i'll be back in a bit cos i'm garna spend it on snout an' scratch cards like.
A born and bred resident of the largest city in the north east of England (unlike the common misconseption that Newcastle is) and largest ship building town in the world. Rider of the bittersweet emotional rollercoaster that is the life of a die hard supporter of Sunderland Asociation Football Club as all true Mackems really are and don't just decide to switch teams because ones doing better than the other. NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH A GEORDIE!
Interveiwer: What is your reaction to the relegation of Sunderland AFC into the first division?
Mackem: SUNDERLAND TILL I DIE!
Great bunch of people
Okay can I just put an end to all this Mackem bashing. Im a Mackem and proud of it, I was born in Peterlee and I love it up here. Yeah I admit we havent got the best football team in the world and there are the usual scum who live in the city but arent all cities the same? Name me one city in Britain which hasnt got a scum element. I bet you cant name one! The majority of Sunderland people are a friendly bunch, where as Newcastle people are a bunch of arrogant wankers who think they are better than everyone else. They hate everyone who lives outside of a mile radius of the Tyne!!
An inhabitant of Sunderland. Often connected to the shipbuilding days where the Wearsiders would "mack em" (make them) before the Tynesiders would "tack em" (take them) to be fitted with engines.
"We mackem and ye tackem"
right lets get this straight, because not all north easterners are geordies...
newcastle, geordie... "alreet meert am off doon tha pub leek"
sunderland, mackem... "that grin grursahs the evulist blurk in ahllah sundahlund, what with his shap by tha curst in rurkah n ahl tha"
middlesboro/hartlepool, smoggie... "arite mate, lark mah perple shert? ive had it for therty yers"
darlington, darloid... "eyah meerte, cun lenz twenny pey could yer?"
there you go.
darlington is 50 miles from newcastle, 40 from sunderland and 20 from middlesborough. WE ARE NOT ALL GEORDIES!
get this straight...
not everyone from the north east is a geordie, and thank the lord for that!
mackem's are generally nice people but get labelled for being scum coz of the few little shits that live here...well you think of any town that doesn't have trash like that in it and your a genius!!
you can actually understand them though unlike those geordie scum who cant speak a word of english.
oh yes and we beat the scum 2-1 (25.10.08)!!
geordie - areeet, a ya cumin doon tha toon leek coz av just beeen doon tha dole to get mee gira, away man al buy ya a piint!
mackem - aye aye, are ya cumin down the town coz ive just gettin me wages (from WORK!!) and al buy ya a drink!