1. Kick the Sandman in his stuff.
2. Tell a soccer momher baby is ugly.
3. Find the fattest, meanest police officer and call him a donut-scarfing pig.
4. Drink some hydrofluoric acid and eat some urinal cakes afterwards.
5. Shove a guinea pig, a boa constrictor, and a Shellder up your butt.
6. Floss your teeth with Richard Simmon's thong.
7. Superglue yourself to a giant rhinoceros who is running directly towards a tar pit.
Don't worry; loos and death only happens if you do all this in the order listed...even though if you do 4 and 7, you'll still die anyway.