Or as he preferred to be called 'The Hammer of the Scots'.Persecuted The Jewsand forced them to wear a yellow star to identify themselves(sounds familiar?]He ordered the execution of Hundreds of Jews and finally ordered to have them expelled(over 600 years before hitler)
Conquered Wales in 1284, Then turned his attention to Scotland interfering in royal matters that had nothing to do with him. Helped appoint a Puppet King ,John Balliol in Scotland ,A Yes man ,he could control, in his efforts to conquer the Northern Kingdom.
He installed English garrisons in Scottish Castles and Forced The Scottish King to Swear Loyalty to him .A Brutal man who crushed any one who dared oppose him,after stealing the Scots ancient Coronation stone The Stone Of Destinyand had it placed under his own Throne in Westminster, he thought he had conquered his Northern Neighbour,Of Course he was Wrong!
Enter William Wallace Who totally Fucked up Longshanks Plans north of the Border,of course he was later betrayed and delivered to Edward and executed in 1305. Longshanks thought at last he had subdued the Scots when up sprang Robert The Bruce.The Bruce was Crowned King of Scots In open Defiance in 1307. The same year Longshanks died on the Scottish Border whilst en-route to ''crush''his opposer.He was Buried in Westminster Abbey in a lead Casket only to be transferred to a Regal Gold casket only when Scotland was Truly conquered and part of the Kingdom of England .Succeded by his son Edward II,Later to be thoroughly defeated by the Scots in 1314 at the battle of Bannockburn.
Her "Long Shanks" act as a great crumb snatcher!
Get your razor and put those "Long Shanks" out of their misery!"
Me: "Oh my god, I need to get out of here."
Longshanks: "I believe NHL is the best sport ever, no other sport must be discussed in my presence."
Me: "Does anybody have a noose handy?"
Longshanks: "I had the best time at Uni, because me and my mates were all tall."
Me: "You are the saddest fuck I have ever met...."
Also known as Male species who can handle himself better than most in the nocturnal activities held with the opposite sex.
Oh baby, this guy I met last night could Long Shank it all night long.